A love that never dies
by Brittni loves stelena
Summary: This story is based on Stelena smut. This is based on 4x16 when Elena turns off her humanity. Don't read if one you love delena and haven't watched up to 4x16. This story is going to be about Elena and how she handles her life with her humanity switch turned off.
1. Chapter 1

This story is based on Stelena smut. This is based on 4x16 when Elena turns off her humanity. Don't read if one you love delena and haven't watched up to 4x16.  
This story is going to be about Elena and how she handles her life with her humanity switch turned off. In my story Damon has tried to handle Elena and how she acts but she couldn't care less. And by Damon turning her humanity switch off he has broken the sire bond, now Elena is living in the Salvatore boarding house. A couple weeks have gone by and Elena has killed many innocent people and drunken from almost all of the people at school. Damon and Stefan have tried to control her but they can't help. Stefan has given up and is blaming all of this on Damon and Damon has to deal with Elena while Stefan is trying to help Caroline and bonnie with their problems.

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**~At Salvatore boarding house~**

Elena POV

I am sitting on the couch feeding on some blonde. Damon has just walked in on me feeding on someone I can tell he furious; I find it quite funny that he is so grumpy. "Jesus Christ Elena, you can't just bring the head off the cheerleading team here!" he screams and tries to take her off. I push him away and wipe the blood away from my mouth "Oh is that what she is" I turn to the girl and giggle "want to join me?" I ask and move closer to him poking his chest. He grabs my finger and pushes me away "Someone is feisty" I growl teasing him. He walks to the girl and compels her to forget this place and leave. I sigh and begin to walk up to my room but before I can reach the third step Damon grabs my wrist and stops me and spins me around to face him. "Elena we need to talk!" I smirk "why?" "Because Elena what you are doing is wrong!" he growls, I laugh out loud "come on Damon don't pretend I am the bad one, you did this all the time." He frowns at me knowing that I am right "is that all?" I ask, he lets go of my wrist "Elena it's your birthday soon, did you want to do something" he asks more nicely. I turn around, I know what he is up to he wants me to feel again, but this seems perfect I would love a party; it's the only fun thing that can happen that Damon agrees with. "How about a big blood bath party with all my dearest friends? Sounds like a plan, have fun planning it." I leave into my room, I hate planning things, and Damon may as well do it since he asked.

Damon of course chooses the best party in my interest, with all my closest friends and just some nibbles and a chocolate birthday cake. Oh my god he is such a bore, he did promise for some drinking. That was my birthday wish from him. The party or should I say social gather of boring people started at 5 and will finish at 9, because Damon said that is my bed time. Everyone arrived, Caroline, Bonnie, Matt, Rebekah, April young and Stefan. Yes that was everyone; I can't drink from April tonight because apparently that's rude. And another problem was I wasn't friends with Rebekah, but I guess she had to come because she was with Stefan.

Everyone just sat one couch and spoke about the cure; I sat next to Caroline because apparently nobody could trust me elsewhere, I eyed April's neck and watched the blood pump through her veins. Rebekah sat next to April because they were friends and Rebekah wanted to protect her from me, Stefan sat next to Rebekah and Damon sat next to Stefan and matt and bonnie sat on the opposite side of the couch I was on. A whole hour went by about the cure and bonnie just argued with everyone. This was getting to boring I mean I couldn't drink from April it was just torture. I stood up and walked to the bourbon draw. Damon stopped me "what are you doing?" "leaving this tragic gathering" I hissed I was really pissed off, I went to the drawer and started sculling as much alcohol as I could I went to the radio and started playing some party music "Let's get this party started" I started dancing around the room with the bottle in my hand. I heard Stefan giggle and Damon moan, I felt a hand on my shoulder I spun around to face Caroline who was smiling and got the bottle out of my hand and began drinking and then screamed "woooohoooo!" and soon after that all of us girls were dancing matt was dancing with Caroline and getting drunk. Soon enough Stefan joined in, and Damon just sat down grumpy.

Another hour passed by and all of were drunk but Damon was angry drunk. Everyone had given me a birthday present apart from Stefan, I grabbed Stefan and led him outside we were both giggling we were alone. "So where is my present Stefan?" I asked him he laughed out loud "didn't get you one" I became a bit more serious now "what!" he noticed my anger and shrugged "Didn't think you cared" he said softly "I don't, but you missed my last birthday I just thought you would make it up to me" I felt more sober now and so did Stefan, vampires can get sober easily. We both stood there for a while, then all of a sudden I had a great idea of what he could give me, he noticed this and looked at me confused, I bit my lip and pressed my body against his "Elena wh-" I put my finger to his lips and whispered "I know something you could do to make it up to me" I said seductively "no ele-"he tried "shhh" I stopped him I trailed my free hand down his chest, he breathed heavily, I then used both my hands to pin him against the wall, he just kept looking at me confused, he had never seen this side of me.

With one of my hands I caressed his cheek "You know how you said we could be friends?" he nodded "I was thinking we could add an extra word" his eye brow twitched, I smiled. "I mean I am so bored" I took a while to say the last word and I looked at his body up and down slowly. He looked down at my body and with that look I held his head and made him look into my eyes, "Can I tell you something?" I asked seductively he tried to look away but I stopped him, I put my lips close to his ear "You are so much better than him" and with my lips still at his ear I trailed one finger down his chest slowly "so gentle" I started to circle his abs "so sexy and hot" I slowed down the whisper "good" I could feel his dead heart beating fast. "You fulfilled my needs…..So much better" he gulped which made me feel more in control and now I knew he knew what I wanted.

I moved my face from his ear, and our noses were almost touching. His eyes were closed. I could smell his sweet scent, I missed his scent, his body, his voice, and his hot sweet breath. I kept my eyes locked on his full pink lips; he then slowly put his hands on my waist this made me smile. He pursed his lips. My body was weeping for him. Then with a blink of an eye he took us to the forest and slammed my body against a tree, his eyes were red and veiny. Within seconds we ripped of each other's clothes. And before I could say it he put it in. he thrust against me faster and faster we both dripping like crazy and panting and moaning into each other, and the whole time our lips never separated which I didn't mind, I loved tasting him. We probably made love for 5 minutes. When we finished he quickly put his and mine clothes on, after all this time he still did that for me, I could tell he still cared for me, but I couldn't not yet I wasn't ready, he knew that it was hard for me, it was like we read each other's minds. I was ready to leave but before I could move he stopped me "Friends with benefits?" I smirked and nodded.

The party had finally finished and every one had left Stefan was last to leave, he was living with Rebekah now, she went to the car and Damon was cleaning up, me and Stefan were at the door "Thank you for coming" I smiled "Your welcome" he giggled in a weird way and I was confused for a second until I realised what he meant, when we made love "No I didn't mean that" I giggled he smiled, he then leant down to my cheek "happy birthday Elena" he then kissed my cheek and left. I sighed and closed the door. Damon looked at me confused he had just finished cleaning "What was that about?" of course he was listening "That's how friends talk" I said to him sarcastically and walked up the stairs I went to my room and then I noticed Stefan's room I smiled at all the memories I had in that room. I walked into his room remembering his scent. His scent filled the room. I laid on his bed and began to fall asleep.

Me and Stefan had this friends with benefits relationship worked out, whenever I was bored he would make love with me and vice versa. Every night I slept in Stefan's room every night for weeks. Everything felt better and I stopped feeding so much.  
I sat on Stefan's bed reading a random book I found on his shelf. Damon walked in and watched me I just ignored him "Hey how are you" "fine" I answered back abruptly "Can we talk" he asked concerned, I sighed a deep sigh. He sat down next to me. He stroked his hand down my back.

"What do you want?" I placed the book down and looked at him "I have noticed something about you Elena" I rolled my eyes "your acting better" he smiled a sweet smile "thanks" I smiled back. He then placed his hand on my cheek "Elena I haven't told you this in a while, I love you" he the kissed me and then stopped because I wasn't kissing him back "do you love me?" he asked, I gulped "should I" referring to the sire bond, he knew this, "it's your choice" he kissed me again. He then left the room. I sighed I somehow felt like I was hurting him. I was slowly starting to feel again, I didn't want to, but I did at the same time. Just then my phone rang, it was Stefan I answered "Hey" "Hey could you meet me at the forest?" I was silent for a second I knew he wanted to make love to me; I really wasn't in the mood but a deal is a deal. "Okay" I said he hung up. We barley spoke, we just made love until it hurt, and we were to tired, which took a while. I missed talking to him.

I met him at the forest he greeted me and began to take off his shoes. "Can't we talk first?" I asked "I have to be somewhere after this" I began to undress as well, I knew he was still seeing Rebekah it sort off pissed me, was he sleeping with her? I asked myself, but why should I care this is not a relationship. Now we were both in our underwear, "hold I have to text someone first" he said and got his phone and began texting I sighed, he didn't help me put me clothes back anymore, he didn't even kiss me anymore. But why would I care? I shouldn't, I can't. But maybe just a bit of respect.

"Okay let's do it" he laid down on the ground "could we at least have a blanket" he giggled but then he noticed I was serious he sat up "why?" "You know so I don't get a stick up my ass" I said angry "You never cared before" he said a bit concerned but angry because he just wanted to get this over and done with. "Well it does now" I shouted, he then stood up "Fine, next time. Let's just hurry up and have sex" I crossed my arms annoyed "what now?" he got up, I then whispered "make love" he raised an eyebrow at me "are you serious?" I frowned "fine make love, now let's hurry up!" "Well I am not going to do it with someone that doesn't care" I shouted at him. "We are not supposed to Elena, that's why it's called friends with benefits. Now are we going to fight in our underwear or just 'make love'?" We are both angry now "I don't want to!" I shouted at him. "God dammit Elena! Why are you acting this way?" he shouted back, I spun around to face the other way, I could feel a tear trickle down my cheek, then it clicked everything was back on, all that I felt before apart from the way I felt about Damon, Jeremy is dead, oh my god, everyone is dead, and I burnt my house down, what have I done?

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Please review more is coming :)


	2. Chapter 2

this is the second chapter and is still in Elena's POV. Enjoy

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES

I fell down to my knees and began to sob, "Jeremy" I cried "oh no" Stefan whispered. He went over to face me, he tried to calm me down "It hurts" I managed to get out between sobs, Stefan held me in a hug. He knew I was back the way I should have been, with no sire bond, the human Elena. "Elena it's okay breath, breathe Elena." "I can't, I can't!" I cried out. He let go off me and quickly put mine and his clothes back on. He picked me up and held me in his arms and began to run. I closed my eyes tightly and cried into his shirt. He put me on a bed, in a hotel room

"where are we?" I asked still crying "we are staying here until you feel better" he sat down next to me on the bed "how will I ever be better, he is dead Stefan!" I cuddled into his body, "Elena, listen to me, when I told you I needed to be somewhere." "Don't leave me Stefan!" "I won't, all of us need to leave town, for the spell to work," I looked at him confused "we have found the cure, and in order for us to turn human we needed to leave mystic falls, and take this." He held a bottle of liquid, I was still confused, "I was going to take you in your sleep, and force gives it to you. Because I knew you wouldn't take it willingly, but now…. Anyway after the spell we will be dead for a while then we will wake up human, but the only thing is when we are dead we will go to another dimension and pick one person we want from the dead to return with us." I was about to speak but before I did "I know it sounds easy, but the only thing is that silas will try to control you, so you can't let him get to you."

He offered the bottle to me and he would drink his after, "Stefan, thank you." He smiled "drink" he said "if I don't make it, I just want you to know that I love you." I said it that I love him. His face went sad, and a tear fell from his eye, I whipped it away. I then kissed him with all my passion and lust, I then began to drink, I felt a bit dizzy, before I blacked out he mouthed 'I love you' back I smiled then it went black.

I wake up in my bedroom I start to freak out; I thought I burnt this down. Then I remembered what Stefan had told me. I walk down stairs, but when I reached the last step I was in a forest and there stood a tall whit horse, it didn't move it was like it was waiting for me, I then noticed I was really cold, I looked down to what I was wearing, I was wearing a white silk dress, that sticked to my body perfectly, I could also see my bra and underwear through my dress. The air was foggy and everything around me was dark, and gloomy, my instinct was to go on the horse. The horse seemed scared, I walked over to it and stroked its main and it let me hop on top of it.

I then heard a gunshot which scared me and the horse, the horse started to run, we ran past soldiers who looked like they were from the 18 hundreds, and the women wore similar dresses that the women in the 1800's would wear, was I back in time? I could hear the gun shots getting louder and louder, I started to feel really scared, "Elena?!" a man yelled from in front of me I couldn't see his face it was too foggy, the horse then suddenly stopped then got high on his to back feet, I then feel backwards then the man caught me "Elena?" he said relief I then saw his face clearly now "Stefan?" he smiled and put me down on my feet "Thank god I found you Elena, I thought someone could have hurt you, I guess you slept walked again." He giggled I looked at him confused and studied his face he looked different, he looked human, his cheeks were red, and wasn't as pale, he looked alive. "Are you alright sweetie?" I nodded still surprised.

He walked me to a house, he took me indoors, and there stood Damon and an older man. Who looked happy to see me. I saw Damon's face he looked different, I squeezed Stefan's hand. He walked me upstairs to a little room, with a big bed that had lace sheets on it, it looked old fashioned it sooted the 1800's. He closed the door behind us, "father and Damon were worried about you." He hugged me from behind and kissed my neck "so was I" I was still shocked about what was happening this must have been before Stefan killed his father, or before Katherine came to town, who was I to him, Stefan then held my left hand, which made me notice the ring, was I married to Stefan, engaged? I quickly spun around and took a step away from him. He looked worried "who am I to you?" I asked scared, he smiled "my soon to be wife, silly" he giggled, so I found out sort off what was happening, but why was I here? Why did silas bring me here?

"Elena what's wrong?" "Nothing" I answered quickly, and smiled a weak smile, "Don't tell father that I did this," he pulled me towards him and kissed me, what was he talking about? He began to let his tongue in to my mouth I let him; I felt my human heart race. He then clasped my breast, which only made me moan, it felt like the first time he did this to me, and only in my mind, we had done other things. He stopped and held my head in his hands. He smiled a perfect smile at me. Back in the 1800s it must have been forbidden to do this type of stuff until you got married. I smiled back to him. "I love you" he said "I love you too" this moment was perfect nothing could destroy it.

Then all of a sudden with a blink of an eye I stood in the middle of nowhere, I looked down and there laid Stefan dead he had been shot, I fell to my knees "Stefan?" I whispered. No this can't be happening, no he can't be dead. How did this happen? I began to cry.

"Elena?" said a voice behind me I turned around to see who it was, it was Jeremy I stood up slowly, I couldn't believe what I was seeing, he stood right in front of me , but he was different he looked like a zombie he had blood all over him, it looked like he just woke up from the dead. He also looked crisp, black like he just got out of a fire.

"Jer?" he took another step closer to me. "How could you Elena?!" he shouted at me, I was confused but then I realised that I had burnt his body. "Jeremy I'm so sorry" I moved closer to him, he didn't move he just had an angry look on his face. He then shouted to the top of his lungs it sounded like he was a demon it wasn't ears began to bleed, I fell to the floor, next to Stefan, and I began to cry, I could my life slipping away, but then I remembered what Stefan said not to let silas get to me. So I slowly got up and began to shout "I choose Jeremy! Can you hear me Silas, I choose Jeremy. Bring back Jeremy!"

Then everything stops and I am in a dark room by myself, what just happened? But before I could even speak I can feel something sucking away my breath, I start coughing, I fall to the floor on my back and I can feel my soul being taking away from me and there is nothing I can do about it.

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Ta da! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys this is my third chapter sorry if it is a bit confusing, basically Stefan and Elena wake up and have lost all there memory it will make sense soon so just keep reading :)**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES!**

Elena POV

The last thing I saw was my house before it all went away, everything, every memory.

I gasped as I woke up. I was lying on path beside a road. I blinked quickly to grasp my surroundings. I didn't know where I was. I didn't know who I was. All I could remember was now or 5 seconds ago. I stood up and noticed a little corner store just down the road. They might be able to help me. Maybe when I was walking down this way for whatever reason, something bad happened and I lost all of my memory. I began to walk to this shop. It was old looking almost country western looking. I walked in nobody seemed to notice me. I walked up to the counter where a woman stood, she had brown hair, she looked like she was in her mid-30's "Ummm excuse me" I spoke. Good I could talk. She looked up at me and smiled "yes dear" I didn't know what to say, was this person my friend, I had no idea "you're not from around here are you?" she spoke "I don't know" she looked at me confused "what do you mean?" "Well" I began "I can't remember anything, I just woke up here, and I-I don't know" I was scared now what was happening, why was this happening? "Please help me" I begged she nodded "take a seat over there" she pointed to my left "and we can figure this out" so I did, I took the risk. She could be a horrible person but I just needed to be helped, however this place looked like everybody was happy.

She sat down opposite me she smiled and offered me some water. I took it and had a sip. "So sweetheart, you don't know your name, age, anything?" I twiddled my fingers trying to remember "no" I said, she then noticed something on my neck, a necklace, she took hold of it "Elena, it says Elena" I looked at my necklace and it did say it, I was surprised I could read. "You look young maybe in 17 or 18" she said I nodded I was relieved that I at least had an idea. "Well sweetheart I'm sure you will be fine, you still have your personality" she smiled in comfort. I smiled back "my name is Belinda, I own this place, I am a single mom to two little boys and I am 37, well that pretty much sums up my life." I felt a bit more at ease, she seemed like a lovely person and she is a mother, so that means she should be caring "you can stay with me for a while, and I will let the police do the rest." I nodded at least I knew who the police were or what they did. I knew pretty much everything about the world or the simple facts I just didn't know my background.

Stefan POV

I woke up in a strange room on a lounge with no memory of anything, nothing about my background. A woman came in to the room, "Oh thank god Stefan your awake" so I guess that is my name, I looked at her studying her for something, but nothing I didn't remember anything "Stefan, it's me" she looked worried I sat up "look I don't know who you are, I don't remember anything and I-" I couldn't finish I didn't know what else to say. The woman began to cry.

A couple of hours passed by and the cops came over to examine me, the told the lady that I had memory loss. They also told her to keep doing what we usually did, so eventually I could remember. The woman told me that I was in a car accident, which is what caused this. She said that she was my aunty and that I lived with her and her husband since my parents died when I was 7. She showed me some pictures of me and her. I can trust her, or at least I think I can. We lived on a farm with a corn field. I stayed in my room most nights to try and regain my memory it didn't help, I just felt lost. I helped my uncle who I called Phil with the farm work. It had been three weeks and nothing has changed. My aunty who I call Susan has decided it's best if I go to school. She said that maybe that might help me.

It is my first day; I spoke to no one although people looked at me like they didn't know me. Like I didn't belong here. There was a girl in a couple of my classes who had what I had, memory loss. I wondered if I knew her, she looked so familiar but I didn't remember anything. We sat in English together it was almost like we were outcast at this school. The teacher began to speak "okay guys, this terms topic is about poetry and the poetry that this class is going to focus on is love" she wrote the word 'love' on the board and underlined it two times. I felt good about this, it felt like I knew and loved everything about this area of English or just life. "Here is one quote" she said while writing the quote on the board. It was 'the heart that truly loves, never forgets' that really stood out to me. I repeated it in my mind over and over again. The heart that truly loves, never forgets.

Elena POV

Belinda took care of me while the police tried to figure out who I was. She took me to school, so at least I was learning something, anything. I sat next to a boy in English that was in most of my other classes. He had the same thing as me. But he had someone who knew him to take care of him. He seemed nice, but something about him sent shivers down my spine, I felt like I knew him. I wish I knew him, he looked so prefect. He was so good looking.

After a couple of weeks we spoke to each other, in most of my classes I sat next to him, I guess we had to talk eventually. He is a really lovely person and I feel safe with him, like I could trust him with my life. We spoke about anything really there wasn't really much to speak about considering we both had no idea what our lives were about. I made a couple of friends, but we weren't that close, we only spoke at school, but I and Stefan spoke more. No one else would speak to either of us. A couple of months flew by, and neither of us could remember anything still after all this time. I felt like giving up and just I don't know anything, I felt lost, but somehow being with Stefan, I felt like I was home.

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**_Thank you for reading more is coming :) please review ask questions. anything!_**

**_Love _**  
**_brittnilovesstelena_**


	4. Chapter 4

_**hey sorry its been awhile. hope you enjoy!**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the vampire diaries or anything to do with the vampire diaries**_

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Elena POV

Stefan and I have gotten really close almost like we are best friends. We both want to ask the other out or to be girlfriend and boyfriend, but I think we are just both scared right now, not scared but confused. We don't want too much to happen, because after all we might have a horrible past. I'm not really sure, but I don't know. Stefan is walking me home, I asked him to, just another excuse to spend more time with him. It is getting dark, and I'm getting cold then I feel Stefan putting his jacket around my small shoulders I look up to him "Thanks" I smile and he smiles back, and god how I love that smile. "You're welcome" he slows down and I slow down with him "so Elena-" he is cut off by a rustling noise in a bush then all of a sudden out of the bush gets thrown out a dead body. We stop and freeze Stefan then wrapped me in to his body we both turn around and as we do that a woman stood in front of us with red veiny eyes and fangs hanging from her lips and blood all over mouth dripping on to the floor. Stefan and I hold each other tighter, the woman is in a shadow you can barely see her body or her face but I know what she is I think I do. I recognised this look. The woman spoke "The heart that truly loves, never forgets" she begins to laugh out loud me and Stefan turn around and start running for our lives he keeps holding my hand and I keep holding his.

Then we are both stopped she pushes us over to the ground. I get really scared now she hisses at us then grabs Stefan by his collar and slams him against the nearest wall. The way she moved was super speed it was just a blur. "Stefan!" I scream and try to get up as quick as I can, she starts choking him. I don't know what is happening I want to help but my body is not letting me. I then see a stick or some sort of stack, I didn't want to do this but she wasn't human, I pick up the stick and stab it straight through her back, trying to reach her heart. She begins to scream and she drops to the ground, she starts turning grey. I start breathing heavily I felt like I was in a horror movie. I couldn't stop looking at the body in shock and horror. Stefan cups my face "Elena let's get out of her, come on!" he grabs my wrist and we start running away after running for about 15 minutes we stop and have a break to breath I can hear Stefan panting and coughing. I then wrap my hands around him pulling him into a tight hug, he hugs me back, I ask "are you okay?" he nods "Stefan what was she?" I ask I can feel tears rolling down my cheeks. We pull out of the hug and he cups my face "I don't know Elena, but we are okay" I then felt his lips meet mine. And it was simple as that. All questions answered, all fears put to rest, all doubts removed. What I felt was not merely passion, but a bruising tenderness and a love so strong it made me shake inside. It would have been frightening in its intensity, except that I was with Stefan, I could not be afraid of anything. I had come home.

We finally arrived to my house without any word, we just held hands. I couldn't shake that kiss of off my lips, it was perfect. I turned to face him I wanted to tell him that I loved him, but that would be too weird. I didn't know what to say "Goodnight Elena" he then kissed my lips and I trembled again. He smiled and walked off.

~ The next day

I walk down the school hallways with the biggest smile on my face. I couldn't stop thinking about Stefan. All day in all my classes I thought of him, I couldn't stop. It was the last class of the day and I didn't have it with Stefan, I walked to my locker to get my books out. Stefan then taped me on the shoulder I spun around to face him he stood there smiling at me. "Hey, can we talk after school?" I nodded "Okay" I couldn't wait.

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_**Thank you for waiting! I know this chapter is short but I will posting one straight after this. Thank you and please review :D**_

_**Brittnilovesstelena**_


	5. Chapter 5

Omg thank you guys for your reviews, please keep them coming. Remember this is based after Elena turns of her humanity. some drama is coming up so make sure you keep up.

Please get anyone out there who wants more stelena to read this! Not being to pushy am I? ;) i mean there are like no stelena fan fictions anymore on fan fiction that I haven't read. I NEED MORE STELENA!

**I DO NOT OWN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES!**

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Chapter 5

We met at the park close to the school we both arrived at the same time and then Stefan began to speak "Elena I need to tell you something" he looked sad well not sad just nervous. I listened and waited for him to speak. "Elena ever since we talked we have had this chemistry, I-I haven't felt this way for a while." He then moved closer to me and we locked eyes "Elena I love you." My heart then suddenly skipped a beat "I love you too Stefan" we both smiled at each other and then our lips locked. I wanted this moment to last forever.

Then with a big flash all of the memories from the day I was born to the first time I met Caroline and Bonnie to when my parents died to the first time me and Stefan met to the last thing that happened since my memory was lost. We both pushed each other away in shock and we looked at each other in shock. There were no words. Who put us here, and who was that lady who claimed to be Stefan's aunt and who was that vampire that attacked me and Stefan. Stefan spoke first "What is happening?" he then looked at me in fear I got scared "what" I said "Your ring!" I looked to my hand and I wore no ring and yet I wasn't burning to death. I then looked at Stefan who was looking at his hand with no ring on it. I gulped did this mean that we were human. "Follow me" Stefan said so I did.

We ended up at his house Stefan banged at the door really hard. Susan opened the door and noticed Stefan's anger. She then slammed the door shut. I looked at Stefan worried he then pushed down the door by kicking it; of course it was easy because the door was weak. We both walked in and there stood Susan crying. Why was she crying? "Who did this to us, and why are you involved?" he asked not even caring that this woman is crying "I'm sorry Stefan I had to do this, for Silas it was the only way to test if you to get the cure." She cried. She worked for Silas? How is this going to help us get the cure to past the stupid test? She answered like she read my mind "To find your true self's" I couldn't speak I didn't know what to say. Was this his plan all along "He said if you to never found each other….. Anyway this is what it is." I didn't fully understand. I guess this was Silas's ultimate test to test our self's to find each other and to know that no matter what we would find each other again.

We needed to get back home.

Stefan just stood there frozen "Stefan come on lets go" I tried to grab his hand but he pushed my hand away. "You're not staying?" he said to Susan, why would he say that, who was she to him? "No" she said calmly "I have to go and so do you" she said she wiped away a tear. "No! Mum I am not leaving you again!" did I just hear him correctly 'Mum?' that makes no sense. "You didn't leave me the first time, it's okay hunny, I love you and I have always loved you and I am always there with you." He ran to her and hugged her, she hugged him back.

Not long after that did she disappear, I and Stefan hired a car and drove back home, and I could tell that he was upset; he really did love his mum. We sat in the car for about 20 minutes driving so far, it was going to be about a 12 hour drive. I finally decided to break the silence "Do you want to talk about it?" I knew he would probably say no "When I was 7 my mother was attacked by vampires and my father and Damon and I had to run away…." A tear fell from his eye. although he didn't tell me much i knew enough. I placed my hand on his shoulder I tried my best to comfort him, "shhh" I told him and I moved closer to him and kissed his cheek.

Quite a while went past Stefan eventually calmed himself down, and we didn't speak the whole time "Elena I need to tell you something" Stefan said I looked over to him "Elena we need to talk about the future" I nodded. "Elena, I have this thing. My thing I guess is falling for the same girl that Damon also falls for… Damon and I have been making the same mistakes for 150 years, we just keep repeating our own history just like Katherine did, nothing ever changes, and it has to stop Elena." "Stefan what are you talking about?" "I'm done Elena; I can't keep reliving my life like this. I owe you that shot at being normal again, and I told myself once I get you the cure, I would get you out of my life and get a life of my own. And now that I have…-"

"Stefan no…" I interrupted him "Elena, I am going to drop you off home and I am going to have a life of my own" I stared at him in shock "W-what?" I stuttered "Elena I don't want to be on repeat, I just need to leave town…. Without you." I just kept staring at him wide eyed "But what about before, what were you doing with me a couple of months ago back in mystic falls… why would you sleep with me?" "That was to help you turn your humanity back on and so you would take the cure." he spoke calmly the whole time "You used me?!" "I had to-" "How did you know that you were the key to turning on my humanity?" "It was a chance I had to take." I let my head fall on the seat and I looked up to the roof of the car, how dare he do this, use me then just leave me like nothing had ever happened in the past 4 years.

He didn't make eye contact with me, "So I have organised you and Jeremy a house to live in, if you need anything just ask Caroline or Damon or anyone but me." "You said you loved me" ignoring me Stefan added "I will leave town in five days; I just have to sort out a few things…" "You said you loved me" I said sadder now "Which I would have sorted out if we weren't kept in that town" "you said you loved me" I said louder, but he still ignored me "So I think we both will be sorted, and we can both go on with our lives, maybe you could marry matt, he is perfect for you, oh and don't worry I got your financial stuff set until you are about 30 years old." "Stefan!" he continued still ignoring me "ok good, everything has been sorted out" "STEFAN!" I screamed he noticed "What Elena?" "You said you loved me" I was still yelling but not as loud as before, he sighed "Well that's done now" "You said you loved me before we transitioned and before we remembered everything-" Stefan interrupted me "That's done now" he said more firmly "No Stefan it can't be!" he just ignored me and looked ahead, he was trying to avoid me.

"Stefan?" still no response "Stefan!" I was really annoyed now and upset "Stefan, stop the car" I began to straighten up and prepare to take of my seatbelt he still didn't respond "Stefan stop the car!" I said almost crying "STEFAN STOP THE CAR!" and at that he stopped it, as soon as he did that I got out of the car and ran away it was annoying that I couldn't run as fast as I used to. I had to get used to running like a human ran after me he grabbed me and I tried to get out of his grasp "let go of me" I said crying "Elena" "no!" I screamed he spun me around to face him "Elena listen to me, you need to get in the car and then we can get you home and all settled and you can see Jeremy" "I don't want to" I sobbed "would you rather live without me or without Jeremy, Elena? It's your choice" "Stefan please." "Elena you're going to have to let me go!" "I can't, I can't, I can't" every time I said it again and again it became a whisper.

Eventually I got into the car. I remembered how we each had to choose a person to bring back with us I brought back Jeremy I wasn't sure who the others bought back. i wanted to see them and apologize for everything and just return home, but i wanted to be with Stefan my feelings for Stefan are back although they never left they were just held back by the sire bond. i wanted it to be the way it used to be and now that everyone was human it could be that way. But Stefan already made his choice

We arrived at mystic falls and everyone was happy to see me, after a couple of days of saying hi to everyone, I arrived at my new house with Jeremy. It was a nice house, perfect for just the two of us. Stefan said his goodbyes to everyone and sorted out his new life, it was his last day today, Caroline organised a goodbye party, almost everyone Stefan had loved and had a life with was there, Alaric was there as well, and Stefan brought Lexi which he had chosen to bring back. The whole time I just sat there, staring into nothing. I was really not copping with the fact that Stefan was leaving, I didn't cry, I didn't scream or anything I just did nothing, I just sat down every day, I didn't get any sleep and I didn't eat anything all I did was sit.

Everybody noticed something was wrong and they knew what it was but they didn't bother speaking to me, there was nothing they could say, nothing could fix it. Stefan noticed but tried to ignore it, he knew this was going to happen; he just had to move on.

Stefan came running over to me out of breathe, he sat down next to me "hey do you want to play football with us?" he was still out of breath, he seemed to enjoy being human his face was red and flushed almost like everybody else. I just kept staring of into the distance. "Elena I'm leaving tonight, it would be nice if you at least did something today" "One day isn't long enough" I spoke almost like a robot "Elena…" he dragged out my name to try and lighten the mood "We have known each other for 4 years and now your just leaving" he just looked at me like I was a broken toy "like we were nothing" he laughed almost like a cough "how do you think I feel Elena? I'm not the only one loosing somebody they love." I looked over to meet his face I had no expression "Then why leave?" I ask "You know why" "Do I?" ignoring the question he said "Can't we just move on and be good about this, and live without each other?" I rolled my eyes and turned my head away from him "I can't leave knowing you are upset" I spun around trying to avoid him "then don't" he placed his hand on my shoulder "well I have to" at that sentence I could feel tears in my eyes "please just leave" I said trying to hold the tears. "Maybe after time you will understand" He stood up and left.

Caroline took me home with Jeremy, Jeremy tried to talk to me but I ran to my room and locked my door before he could say anything. I fell on my bed and buried my head into my pillows and started to cry. After about 10 minutes of crying I stood up and looked into my mirror "I am not going to be that sad little girl that world crashes because of one guy" and I kept repeating that in my head until I finally believed it.

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_**WOOOOO alot of stuff happening, next chapter I'll explain who is back and stuff just the little things that need to be said... or written... whatever, and then more drama yay! STAY TUNED :) please review and ask questions and give me suggestions**_

_**- Brittnilovesstelena**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the wait, this is what has happened in the past months, from Elena's POV. :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES**

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**Chapter 6**

6 months later

_Hey diary sorry I haven't been writing for a while, I have had to get a new diary due to the fact that I burnt my last one. Anyway in the past six months so much has happened. So let me start from around the time Stefan had left, Jeremy has come back, which at first I didn't really take in but now I coddle him almost every second, he has learnt a lot from his death and has finally decided what to do with his life. He says he wants to be a teacher like Alaric. Or be a cop, to protect people and help people, of course I said no to the cop idea because I don't want to see him get hurt, but he still thinks he should. He has been seeing bonnie, and has helped with her tough times, and makes sure she takes a break from magic. He says he loves her. Which I find great, two of the people I love most in the world are happy then I am happy. He is doing well at school, but of course we had to compel most of the town to forget that he died which was difficult._

_Now bonnie, bonnie at first was going through a rough time with her powers, and almost got taken over with dark magic, she was cleansed of all her darkness, and she no longer has her powers until the day she feels she needs them, or her parents think so. She went through a rough patch but now she is good, and she is finally happy and lives with her parents and her mum is human again. Although witches try to hound her, she doesn't let them. She has decided to have a gap year, instead of going off to collage straight away._

_Caroline- she has been busy, at first she was a total wreck now that she is human again, and thinking that everyone would hate her now, but it turns out that she learnt a lot and is still the same, just human, Klaus helped her realize that. Caroline brought back Bonnie's mom, which was totally sweet of her. She tried to find Tyler, but no such luck but she did receive a letter from him saying that he is living with his other family now and is happy and might someday return to mystic falls once his life is sorted out. Caroline of course was upset about this and Klaus was there for her the whole time being a good friend. She has realized it is for the best. She has gone to college to study in design and all the things she is into, Klaus visits her often._

_Matt has had it tough in the past couple of years; he has always been there no matter what helping us if we needed. He has decided to try and move away from mystic falls as he wouldn't want to have a family around vampires. He has being going out with this new girl called Samantha he and her are going to the same collage so they have decided to live in the same cabin. Matt is close friends with Rebekah and is helping with finding someone._

_Elijah and Katherine are now a thing which of course we all found weird at first but they have both taken the cure and are as in love now with each other as they were when the first time they met. Katherine is no longer a bitch, she apologised and has left town to start a life with Elijah. We haven't heard from them in 3 months. Then theres Rebekah she is doing really good and is starting her own life, with some ups and downs, but she is finally happy and has been going out with this random guy for a while now. She is great friends with everyone, and has really made a difference. And Klaus is now not a hybrid, but he is now a werewolf; he is in love with Caroline and will do anything to win her over. He has changed to, he is friendlier, and is still the strongest in mystic falls._

_Alaric is back which was really nice, he has been looking after everyone like he is our father, he has taken on the mayors roll, and is back with Meredith fell. He doesn't teach anymore he quite once we all graduated. He wants to now protect this town and is doing an excellent job. He lives with me and Jeremy now. _

_So basically everyone has sorted their lives out and are moving on and have learnt from the past. Now that we have graduated everyone feels freer. Caroline of course had to throw a massive party and almost the whole school was there. Oh and of course there is Damon, he has been good, he has helped out as much as he could. He didn't turn of course back to human, because he is stubborn. We both had a fight about the whole sire bond thing, but now have agreed to try and stand each other. He once tried to kill Rebekah, Katherine and Klaus because he is stronger, but unfortunate for him we all protected one another after that he left town for about a week to have a tantrum, but eventually got over it and apologized and tried to live his vampire life. He tried to start up again with me which only turned into a fight he has now backed off. Every now and again I feel sorry for him, but this was his choice. It's what he wanted. _

_And then there's Stefan…. After he left of course I was depressed and felt like I couldn't breathe and I tried to bring him back and I cried almost every night for weeks. But I had to get over it, try and live life as I could with Jeremy and take back lost time. Lexi texted me a couple of months ago reassuring me that Stefan is fine and that he is living a good life. I was happy about this and that he had his best friend Lexi back. I texted her back saying thank you for everything and I hope you two have a good life. Of course I wanted to text her saying that I missed him and I still love him. But I couldn't I had to at least try to move on. So I got a job at the grill and took Matt's place, I looked at different collages to go to but none really stood out to me. I still wanted to be a writer of some sort. _

_I don't know what else to write diary so I'll stop here goodnight._

- _Elena G._

I put down my pen and closed my diary. It is 6pm and I haven't left my room all day. I have been laying a bit low, especially now that school is finished "Elena dinner is ready" Alaric called from downstairs. It was going to be a quiet night tonight Meredith and bonnie usually came over to join but tonight they didn't. It was just Alaric, Jeremy and I enjoying a quiet night. We were having frozen pizza tonight, because either one of us could be bothered to cook or even could cook. I engaged in some small chat but otherwise stayed quiet and ate. We all cleaned our dishes and after wards Alaric and Jeremy sat on the couch and started watching the news. I walked up to my room after saying my goodnights. And sat on my bed and fiddled on my phone I texted Caroline catching up with the latest goss which she had a lot to say. After about an hour of that I did some stretches and had a shower, I had cold shower because it had been very hot lately because it is summer. I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around me I then brushed my teeth. Afterwards I put on my pink singlet and my underwear and got in bed.

I lied in the dark for about 20 minutes, still not asleep….

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** Thank you. I'm doing a lot more chapters so you've been warned ;) Review and all that other stuff :)**

**-brittnislovesstelena**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 the dream

Eventually I start drifting of I close my eyes and feel a cool breeze flow over me, which was unusual but I took pleasure in it and smiled slightly. I start to picture Stefan he is smiling, then I hear a voice in the breeze "Elena" that voice it sounds so familiar and yet so soothing my eyelids feel heavy. "Elena" and there it is again that same familiar soothing voice only this time I feel as though the voice is whispering in my ear.

I don't feel anxious or scared I feel at peace with that voice. Now I can see Stefan's hand in my mind holding my hand. I then feel something or someone touch my shoulder, but I cannot move to see who or what it was, all I could do was keep my eyes close and listen. I again feel a light touch on my shoulder "Elena" the voice whispers in my ear "mmm" I say. It feels as though I am in some sort of a trance. "Open your eyes" I frown my eyebrows in confusion but slowly open up my eyes.

I feel him touching my cheek and I sit up to sit with him on my bed. I stare into his eyes still in my trance. His thumb goes to the bags underneath my eyes and he glides his thumb slowly over them. Then he moves his thumb to my lips then slowly removes it and holds my hands. I watch his green eyes watching me. I want to speak but I can't it's like I'm lost for words. I lick my lips and get out "Stefa-" he puts his finger to my lips to shhh me. He then smiles at me and removes his finger and with that movement, I get out of his trance and I feel normal again I look at Stefan confused as to why he is here. Or if he even was here maybe it's just a dream. "It's been to long" he says softly like a soothing angel. I start to feel dizzy, lightheaded; I want so much for this to be real. I gulp and nod in agreement he keeps smiling at me. "Lexi said that she texted you… you know how I am... I just don't know how you are" I whimpered softly, I could feel my eyes tearing up. He sighed and his smile went to a straight face more serious he looked into my eyes to ask how I was. Well I wanted to say I was ok and that I have a good life, but I decided to answer to how I felt without him "horrible" I said shaky I look down to my hands annoyed that I said that I tried so hard to move on, but I just couldn't. He pulled my face back up to meet his face and he placed his warm soft hand on my cheek and looked at me worried. "Elena…" he said and wiped away a tear that fell from my eye. I wanted to say how much I missed him and how much I loved him but I couldn't do it I had a frog in my throat.

"Me too" he whispers as though he knew what I was thinking, and with that I knew now that he was going through what I was going through. He missed me and still loved me, I could tell by the look in his eyes. He leans in to my forehead and pressed his against mine and whispers "I love you" and then our lips lock. It was as simple as that all questions answered, all distress put to rest, all worries removed. And when I deepened further into the kiss I felt rawness and a love so strong. It made me tremble, I moaned and as did he, he pulled out slightly and pecked my lips slowly again and again. We both locked eyes with each other. And with that one look we both snuggled on my bed and held each other in each other's arms. He had his lips at my forehead before I drifted off to sleep I whispered "I love you too" and I could feel him smile against my temple.

Soon both Stefan and Elena fell asleep in each other's arms, holding on for dear life, neither moved from that position that night. And all the bad dreams were gone and they dreamt good dreams, and finally after all these months they both got a goodnight sleep. They are together at last. Neither wanted this to end.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES!**

**Read and review**

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Chapter 8

"BEEEP BEEEEP" my alarm clock went of reminding me to get ready for work. I groaned I didn't want to get up. I felt around my bed reaching for Stefan but no one was there. I sighed upset and opened my eyes. Of course it was a dream, I grumbled as I got up and made my bed. I went on with my normal morning routine, had a shower, did my hair, put my clothes on and brushed my teeth. I sighed as I looked in the mirror. I wished last night was real, I missed him so much, although I really did have a good sleep last night the best I have had in ages.

I then noticed my diary open and the pages facing down wards; I flipped it over and noticed some unusual hand writing. I looked closer and I read what was underneath last night's entry "I will always love you- S" I gasped as I read it; I noticed the word _always _underlined. I brought the book up to my chest and flew backwards landing on my back on my bed. I smiled, knowing that all that was true last night only made me happier but sadder, wanting to see him again. But wait why was he here? Did he come back? I sighed, closed my eyes and put those thoughts at the back of my mind and replayed last night in my head over and over again.

Then Alaric's voice stopped this "Elena, come on ill drive you to work" he said knocking at my door I bit my lip and got up.

Later I arrived at work and I started my shift I liked working in the mornings not much people came here in the morning which gave me time to have a bit of breakfast at the back. I began to work and served my first customer.

I walked to the middle of the room to serve my next customer, once I started walking back some one taped me on the shoulder I turn around and gasp at who I see it is Stefan with some lady who wore a scarf and sunglasses so I couldn't really see her face, I was lost for words I tried to speak but I couldn't but he then spoke first "Hello Miss could you please get us a table" he turned to his side to also show someone else who was with them it was Lexi. I still couldn't speak all I do is nod a yes and direct them to a table. They all sat down and took of their jackets and scarfs; they must have from somewhere cold because it was extremely hot here in mystic falls. Stefan spoke "Hi, I'm Stefan and this is Emma and Lexi" I already knew who he and Lexi were why was he introducing me to him, what had happened since last night? He then gave me a look that answered all my questions; it was as if to say just play along. I cleared my throat "Hi, my name is Elena. What would you like this morning?" I couldn't stop staring at Stefan until Emma spoke "They want water and muffin and I will have a coffee and bacon and eggs. That's it." She snapped I smiled and wrote that down on my little note pad. Why would she order for both of them, and why so little? And why did she have the big breakfast? Who was she to Stefan and Lexi? And the way she spoke sounded angry. "Okay, anything el-""I said that's it" she interrupted and hissed. I stared at her in shock and she stared at me frowning, "U-umm okay… that will be $33 and 25 cents" she moaned and grumbled "Thank you" Stefan spoke kindly "I will be back with your order soon" I said before leaving and giving Stefan a questioning look.

That woman seemed creepy and bitchy, I mean she just ordered for them both and was very snappy about she seemed like she was taking control of Stefan and Lexi. I then remembered something from back when me and Stefan were walking down that alley way, he was walking me home and we had no memory of anything back then, then that vampire appeared and she hurt both of us. But I stabbed or at least I thought I did, then like that it hit me that woman sitting with Stefan and Lexi is the vampire that attacked me and Stefan.

I handed my notes to the chief and went to the pool table were Bonnie and Jeremy played. Just as I entered Jeremy left to go to the bathroom. I looked closely at the woman called Emma with Stefan and Lexi; Lexi just sat there looking like a lost puppy which is very unusual for Lexi. And Stefan just stared deeply into Emma's eyes with no expression and then Emma kissed him, I looked away, what the hell was happening? Bonnie noticed this "Who is that woman with Stefan?" she asked I gulped "she is the vampire that attacked me and Stefan 6 months ago…Emma…" "Why is she with Stefan?" I was about to answer when Jeremy interrupted "Hey Elena that woman with Stefan just tried to compel me, but of course I'm wearing vervain so it didn't work" now I was worried and so was Bonnie "What did she say Jeremy?" I asked concerned "She said something about to forget what she was about to do" "and what was that Jeremy?" bonnie asked and he shrugged and then with seconds she was behind Jeremy about to snap his neck I scream and then Damon stops her and pushes her away "Damon?" I shudder he smiles a wicked smile at me and then takes Jeremy away. "DAMON!?" I scream after him "Don't worry Elena he is getting him home, to be safe." I look at Bonnie still worried then I hear Emma's voice "come on guys, let's go and have some fun elsewhere" she picks herself up and walks out the door followed by Lexi and Stefan, I ran up to Stefan without thinking and grab his arm he notices and stops. We wait until Emma and Lexi are outside. "I'll tell you tonight Elena" he whispers so soft I barley heard him and then he ran outside after the others.

I stood there almost shaking, the whole bar weren't freaking out they were just acting like nothing had happened and yet there were only about 5 people here. She must have compelled them. I quickly called Damon and told him I was on my way.

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"Elena really I am fine" Jeremy said again, we all sat in his room "No Jeremy she could have killed you, and after all we have been through…" I started to tear up at the thought of Jeremy dead. "Elena it's all good now, okay. Jeremy is safe. I will protect him" Bonnie said trying to comfort me. I brushed that thought away and began to talk to Damon "How did you know Damon?" he smiled a cheeky smile "truth is Elena, she tried that scam somewhere else and I happened to catch her doing it so I have been following her and I followed her to the grill, just in time…" "So you saw Stefan with her?" he sighed "Yes…" I started pacing trying to put it all together. What did she want with Stefan and Lexi? "Look Elena if you want my help, I have to get going and follow her…" I nodded "okay." I sighed and walked closer to Damon and embraced him in a hug "Thank you!" he tensed up a bit, then eventually said "Your welcome" and with that he was off.

Eventually I calmed down. Bonnie is sleeping over except in Jeremy's room and Alaric has made sure the whole town is aware. It was 7 pm and I waited in my room for Stefan to explain everything, I hoped, although his message to me was very short I knew what it meant.

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** Ok sorry I haven't been on in a while! :) Oh no what is Emma up too?! stay tuned to find out ;) I also have a fanfiction on instagram stelenafanfiction1 so read that story as well :) thank you for reading please review :)**

**- brittnilovesstelena**


	9. Chapter 9! :O

**LIFE! please read and review :) xx**  
**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES**

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Chapter 9

I sat on my bed waiting. I left my window open just in case he came through that way. Now that he wasn't a vampire, he couldn't get in as easily as he used to. I feel my eyes starting to close but I slap myself to keep myself awake. "Ppssstttt" I spin around to my window and Stefan is gripping on to it, he must have climbed up "help please" he says desperately, I race to help him in, I pull him in with all my strength.

We both sit on my bed, I try to hold his hand but he pushes it away. He clears his throat "this will have to be quick, so listen carefully" he whispers as low as he can, afraid someone could hear him I lean in eagerly. "Ok, so once me and Lexi moved from mystic falls, the … Emma approached us, she compelled us to do everything she said, so for the past 5 months we have been going around the state, helping her feed and get what she wants. The reason she is doing this is because she has made a deal with someone to get something, that's all she told us." I open my mouth to speak but he puts his finger over my mouth to stop me, he continues hurriedly "You may remember her from that place in Texas, the reason she attacked us was so she could get to me, we didn't kill her because a witch was helping her, anyway back in the 20's I turned her and had a past with her, I turned her into a vampire, so that is why she is after me, for revenge. And now that I am human she is trying to make my life a living hell." He pauses for a while but then starts again "So the reason we are acting like we don't know you is because, she will hurt you and anyone I know."

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_Flashback  
Stefan POV_

_Lexi and I are being held captive by this vampire, strapped up so we couldn't move. She has told us that we have to do whatever she says; unfortunately because Lexi and I are human we can't disagree. I remember her, her name is Emma we had a run in, in the 20's I compelled her to do everything for me, I would feed of her and her husband, and then one night her husband was not co-operating with me so I killed him, Emma was upset, so annoyed by her whining I turned her, and told her to turn off her emotions. For about a month I stayed with her and kept her as my little minion then I got sick of her and ran off. "Stefan, do you remember me now?" she smirked "Look I'm sorry about everything that I did, I'm a completely different person now."  
"And human too…" she smiled; I knew what this meant she wanted revenge. I frowned slightly.  
"What do you want?"  
"Stefan, why didn't you remember me last time I saw you?" she changed the subject and compelling me.  
"My memory was erased."  
"Mmm Ok, who was that girl you were with?" she spun around and faced the other direction twiddling her thumbs. I froze, I couldn't mention Elena, or what she meant to me, and I know what she would do, so I had to make up something. Lexi looked at me raising an eyebrow. "Umm she was this girl I met there, she tried to help me with my memory loss, and she told me that she was… staying there for a while and that she was originally from Mystic falls" good that way if she ever saw Elena again she wouldn't get suspicious. She spun around and looked at me fiercely "Look Stefan you made my life a living hell, and now that you're human..." she moves closer to me and begins to stroke my cheek "…so very human. I am going to make your life a living hell." She smirks and leans over to my ear so that she can whisper "pay backs a bitch" then with that last word she puts her fangs into my skin and begins draining my blood._

_Flash back ended_

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"I told her that you were just some person I met…So we are leaving soon and we won't be back, I'm sorry but Elena you can't fight her, she will kill you, so please leave Damon out of this. Whatever she wants here she now has, and we will give it to her leader." He stops, I take it all in and he lets me speak "Stefan… she could turn you… I can help you two, we have to try-"  
"No, Elena, she is dangerous you don't know what she is capable of and-"  
"Damon, bonnie and Klaus can help, please Stefan" I whisper and take his hand and he lets me "After all that has happened" I lean my forehead against his and take in his scent, I want to kiss him so badly but I can't, it will be too much. "I have to go…" his says after a while "I'm going to help you" I whisper, he gets up and ignores what I just said he moves to the window and begins to move his body down "Goodbye Elena" he begins to crawl down and whispers "I love you" before he is completely gone. I whisper to myself "I am going to help you" I would try to fall asleep but I had to tell somebody. So I called Damon and told him everything.

Damon told everyone as did I, well anyone that we needed help from or wanted to keep safe. Caroline told Klaus at first he denied and after a while he said yes. We had to come up with a plan fast, we all wanted to help Stefan.

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**Dun Dun DUUUNN! lol Okay tell me what you think :) also follow my instagram accounts becauseilovestelena and stelenafanfiction1 :) please review :D**

**-brittnilovesstelena**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey sorry guys I had writers block. I will post as much as I can, thank you!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES :)**

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Chapter 10

I knew there was no good chance that if we saved Stefan and Lexi that they would return to Mystic falls, I only hoped. I just wanted Stefan to be safe and live a full human life, like he deserves. I want nothing but the best for him, and I know that he would do the same for me. Because we still both deep down love each other, like we always have.

After a while Damon and Klaus met up and have tried to figure out what to do and how to get Emma. Emma stayed in town still, she has rented a hotel says Alaric, and that she plans on staying for a long time. Which only makes it harder on everyone else; the only people we can really rely on are Damon and Klaus. I still see her often at the grill with that stupid smirk on her face she makes my blood boil, the way she holds Stefan like he is her doll. The way she uses them, she always kisses Stefan in public to make it clear to all of us girls that she means business.

"Elena" Klaus spoke I spun around to face him and Caroline with his arm wrapped around her waist. "We have an idea, meet us at 12 tonight at the Lockwood cellar" "What… why?"  
"Elena just trust him okay" Caroline smiled a reassuring at me. They left the room, we were in the mystic grill dining area, and Emma was not here. I wondered what they were up to as no one told me anything including Caroline she was helping Klaus as well. I sighed and continued cleaning the table, I get tapped on the shoulder I then face the person who taps me, I gasp in surprise to see her "Hey…umm Elena isn't it?" I nod a yes. She smiles and notices my vervain necklace, and then rips it off, I try to run but she grabs my arm not letting me move. "I meet you once, you were with Stefan, and Stefan says that you were just some girl. I believed him, but I have noticed the way he looks at you which makes me think….How do you feel about Stefan?" she compels the last sentence, I have no choice but to answer. "I'm in love with him" I breathe, it's been a while since I said it out loud. She smirks "And he loves you?" she compelled again "Yes" I say, I know he is because he told me. "Well isn't that great!" she screams with joy "You see Elena, Stefan killed the one I loved, so I only think it's fair I do the same to him." I gulp frightened "Elena fall asleep" and with the last word I fall asleep.

Everyone is waiting in the cellar for Elena, prepared for battle. Klaus brought along some of his buddies and so did Damon. Tonight they had organised for Bonnie to do a spell to take away the witch on Emma's side powers. And while Bonnie does that Emma will no longer be safe and a stake can kill her. The spell will work its best at midnight. Once the witch realizes this though she will tell Emma and they will both come and find them. So they have to do this quickly. And once Emma is there they will kill her. Damon suggested killing the witch as well, but Bonnie thought it was best not too. They have got a couple of Klaus's hybrids watching out for Stefan and Lexi; they are following them from a safe distance. They know where Emma is but they can't get inside. Because one it's not safe and two because a witch made a barrier. And another couple of hybrids are keeping an eye on the witch.

It is 11.45pm and they are all waiting on one person, Elena. They planned on telling Elena the plan when she had got there, and for her to get Stefan and Lexi while the others keep Emma and her witch distracted. Of course Elena would go with Rebekah just in case. But they were running out of time they needed to get Elena in on what they were up too, otherwise it would be too late. If she wasn't there they concluded they would just have to do this without her.

I wake up in a dark room I am on a dusty old bed. Once I take a good look around it almost looks like a jail cell. I sit up and realize I am not alone Lexi is sitting on the bed opposite me, watching me tensely. It looks like she hasn't brushed her hair in days, and her clothes are all mattered and dirty. She has big black bags under her eyes. She lets out a small sigh and smiles, but the smile is very weak. What has Emma done to her? "Where am I?" I ask "Emma's basement" I looked around once again "She knows about you and Stefan, she got Stefan to tell her about how he went to visit you and how he told you who she is. Everything." She looks down at her feet, she seems upset, worried even, maybe worried for Stefan. I look down too, poor Stefan, he must have tried so hard to keep me out of this. But she is more powerful and neither of us can do anything about it. "Is he with her now?" I ask afraid of her answer "yes" Lexi sighs. I hope Stefan is okay, I wonder what I was meant to meet up Klaus and the others for. Maybe they are going to try and help Stefan and Lexi, maybe even try and kill Emma.

I hear a scream form upstairs. It sounds like Stefan. I look up to the door, Lexi does too. I stand up and slowly walk towards the door, I just want to see if Stefan is okay, I can't bear his screams, it's as though I can feel his pain. I feel a hand land on my shoulder, its Lexi's "Don't Elena" she says warning me, I bite my lower lip. Stefan screams again, and as soon as I hear that I race towards the door, I climb the stairs and reach the door, I open it and race out. Like the basement the other section of the house is dark but not as dark as the basement. I run towards the scream and then I am stopped by a body, he pushes me backwards slightly. I look up at the man, he looks like a body builder. I look behind the man and see Stefan panting on a chair with Emma standing over him. He looks worse than Lexi, but the major difference is that there is blood dripping from his neck.

Emma notices my appearance and spins around smirking in my direction, "Well look who is finally awake, please join us" she gestures her arm out for me to join. The tall man steps aside and I walk in to the room slowly; Stefan is panting and is pale white. I hate seeing him like this. "So Elena, now that we know anything and everything" she says knowing that knowing what Lexi had told me earlier "We can finally get started" she races over to me and is in my face, with her red eyes set on my brown ones. "Let's begin with torture" she grins. Stefan lets out a moan.

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**Thank you for reading! Please review! love you forever :D and remember to read my fanfiction on instagram stelenafanfiction also follow my other accounts iloveeverythingboutninadobrev and becauseiloveustelena **  
**I will post more next week**

**- brittnilovesstelena**


	11. Chapter 11

**HEIIAAYY So school holidays are soon, so I will be posting more in a couple of weeks and writing more yay :) Anyway hope you enjoy! review and follow, it would mean the world to me! :D**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES!**

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I sit watching Stefan squirming; he is strapped in a wooden chair as well as me. I have duct tape over my moth to keep me from making any noises. I also have the big tall man working for Emma behind me. Emma had a table laden with devices she used on both me and Stefan to torture us. she has used baseball bats, knifes and punching and kicking. she would let us have about a five minute break to let us breath because we were now humans and we needed some time to recover.

It's been about 2hrs of straight torture and sometimes she would just make me watch, and after a while of torturing Stefan she would do the same to me and made sure he watched. Every time I try to look away the men grabs my head and forces me to watch. He holds my head tight and places his palms on my red is also rope on my wrist, I can feel burning in to my skin, scratching my skin.

"I'll survive this! I've always survived and I won't surrender no matter what you do to me!" Stefan panted through gritted teeth, sweat dripping down his face as he defiantly snarled at Emma. "Oh I certainly hope so! I don't intend you to die. As for surrendering, well the night is still young. We've a long night ahead of us!" she gloated gleefully. "Now let me see…" she mused as she went to a table laden with nasty devices. She picked up a device that resembled a taser, she clicked a switch and a blue spark burst forth for a moment "Yes, just the thing" she said pleased. Oh no, I didn't want to watch this, the devices she kept getting kept getting worse and worse. She moved in front of Stefan and ran her finger tips over his bare chest, he cringed at her touch, and the device was brought up by her hand and laid against his right thigh. A fiery jolt of pain knifed up his body dragging a scream from Stefan. Pleased with her result she moved the taser to his other thigh and repeated the action. Stefan yelled in agony.

I wanted to scream, i needed a way to get his screaming and pain out of my mind.I tried to look away but the man yet again forced my face to watch Stefan in agony. I try to wriggle out of his embrace with my head, but its no use, I try moving my arms and legs but they wont budge, both from the pain of the last two hours and from the rope holding me down. I can feel tears streaming down my face. Emma turns to face me and smiles her signature smirk.

She moves closer to me and bends down to be face to face with me. "What's wrong Elena? It's not you!" she yells over Stefan's screams "It's Stefan that's getting hurt! So why are you crying?" she looks over to Stefan and then back at me she smiles and whispers in my ear "Would you like to feel his pain as well?" she said the last sentence smiling. I try to shake my head but it's no good, so I try to scream but all that comes out are moans and groans. I started to tremble as she brought the device to my face, I close my eyes. And then I feel a sharp pain through my body. My body is on fire, its terrible. She put it in my leg. Sweat and tears was pouring of my face. I clench my fist and scream as loud as I can. "No! She can't handle it! Please!" I hear Stefan scream through the buzzing in my ears.

After about another five minutes of letting us calm down. But I am still shaking uncontrollably. Emma unties me and takes the duct tape of my mouth. I pant loudly, I feel dizzy the room is spinning. Emma lifts me up by the collar of my shirt and drags me over to Stefan. We stop in front of Stefan, I want to move, but I am so numb. "Please" Stefan whispers huskily almost pleading, a smile creeps on Emma's face and she begins to speak "Does it hurt Stefan?" she asks calmly "Seeing the one you love in pain?" she drops me on the ground and I hit the ground hard. I feel the cold ground against my flushed cheeks, I want to move even run away, but I can't even feel myself, I feel numb. My eyelids are half open, I look up at Stefan who is crying, sweating and bleeding. The worst thing about all of this, on top of the pain my body is in; it's the hurt and pain in my heart. Maybe that's my heart dying on me. But it hurts so much seeing Stefan like this. After a while he answers a husky "yes" she leans into him and whispers "good." I cough, well choke out some blood, and feel like my chest is closing in on me.

Emma seems satisfied with herself. After hours and hours of torment, we have finally broken and she has hurt Stefan as much as she can but she only has to do one more thing to make it complete, kill me. I begin to try and squirm away but I can't. All I want to do is get out of here.

Emma picks me up again and looks at me in the eyes and laughs out loud. "You look horrible" I try to clear my throat but I just cough up blood not as much as I did before. "Do you want me to end the pain Elena?" she asks me calmly, I know what she means. Secretly I do, I just want to go to sleep "No!" Stefan yells hoarsely, Emma smile gets bigger. "Go to hell!" I let out throatily, her smile disappears her grip tightens on my collar and she hisses at me "Goodbye Elena" she places one hand on the back of my neck and I squeeze my eyes shut. And prepare for death to come.

I male voice screams in agony, and it's not Stefan's "Oopps" I hear a familiar voice and its Damon's "Did you need him?" he snarls almost happily. I assume he has killed the other man. I open my eyes to see if what I am hearing is true and it is, Damon is standing there and behind him is Klaus. Emma drops me and I fall to my knees. Emma pounces towards Damon and they begin to fight each other of. While Klaus deals with all the other man and witches coming out to attack him. "Elena" I hear a husky voice, I look up to face Stefan, I sit up and regain all my strength to get him untied.

Once he is fully untied, I get his arm over my shoulder and pick him up. After all he was going through most of the torture. I walked him and I away from all the fighting. I really hope my legs wont give out on me. I see Caroline right in front of me. Caroline looks at both me and Stefan horrified. She reaches for us and she picks us both up and vamp speeds away.

Within seconds we are outside with both Caroline and Lexi. Caroline drops us both down gently on the grass. Stefan rolls on his back and breaths for air. I roll on my back to and watch him, with his eyes closed and his chest is violently rising and must have been there plan all this time. This must have been what Damon, Klaus and the others wanted to tell me, that they were going to get Stefan. I just unfortunately got caught in the middle. Caroline grabs hold of Stefan face and places his head on her lap. While Lexi is caressing his hair trying to comfort him and she is crying. She must have been so upset. But she seemed healthier than before, she was perfect. Caroline must have healed her. Caroline cuts her wrist and feeds her blood to Stefan. He soon relaxes and his chest is slowing down from its rapid pace before.

Once she is done feeding Stefan she places Stefan in Lexi's lap and moves over to me. she smiles down at me, a comforting smile, and places her wrist on my mouth. I close my eyes and begin to suck on her blood, it slowly moved down my throat, I became more relaxed.

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**Yep...hope you like, more is coming soon (About a week), and just because Stefan and Elena still love each other does not mean they will get back together immediately. But they will come back to each other, I mean after all this is a stelena story. Tell me what you think and please review, and follow, whatever, love you! :)**

**- brittnilovesstelena **


	12. Chapter 12

**OMG guys, in the last chapter it says ****_Caroline_**** feeds her blood to Stefan and Elena, my mistake because she is human, she used Klaus's blood to heal them. Sorry :) anyway, I've been busy writing these couple of chapters, so REVIEW, follow whatever. Thank you for reading! :) **

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the vampire diaries or any of the characters. ****_Otherwise (SPOILER) Stefan wouldn't be drowning_**** :'( No copyright infringement intended. Entertainment purposes only. ENJOY!**

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Caroline took all of us home. She took me home first, while Lexi and Stefan stayed with her, because really were else would they stay. I highly doubt neither of them wanted to stay with Damon, even if he did save their lives. They both had their past with him and didn't want to speak with him any time soon.

It was a short car ride back, no one spoke on the car ride here, no one even tried to start a conversation, and I guess we were all shocked and tired. I wanted to speak to Stefan but I couldn't bring myself to do it. When Caroline dropped me off home she made sure I was safe, both bonnie and Jeremy were going to be at home with me so I guess that means I am safe. None of us are really sure with what went down with Damon and Emma and the rest but we would find out tomorrow. All I wanted to do right now was fall asleep although Klaus's blood has healed me I am still fairly tired.

I couldn't help but keep thinking about Stefan. We still had a lot to talk about. I mean we have never really spoken about our relationship. We broke up, I was sired to Damon, I slept with Damon, and Stefan found out and got upset, my brother died, I turned off my humanity, and then I and Stefan became friends with benefits. It wasn't really the most perfect turn of events. And once I turned my humanity back on I was forced with all these feelings and told Stefan I loved him, but as soon as I did that I took the cure and had that crazy dream then we both lost our memories, which again didn't support our relationship. But then we somehow found a way back to each other even with our memory loss and announced we loved each other, but again with the unfortunate turn of events we got all our memories back, and suppressed all those feelings and tried to figure out was happening and get back to business. And then Stefan left, he said it was better that way, and he was planning to do that as soon as I turned my humanity back on and took the cure. I was depressed but still somehow I pushed through. But again fate kicked in and Emma got involved and Stefan came to my room told me he loved me.

I mean really all of this is very confusing, neither of us have had a chance to really talk, about anything including us and what happened. We haven't even discussed about me and Damon, or how Stefan felt. We just keep skipping to each major event, and either had sex or told one another we love each other. But shouldn't that be enough just telling the person that you love that you love them. You think it would be but it's not, we haven't had a real conversation. Things have been happening too fast. I don't think I have even apologised properly for what I did to Stefan. But then again we haven't had a real major talk since Stefan got back from Klaus. We just keep rushing into things. I want us to be more than that. The way we used to be before Silas ruined it, before Klaus, before Katherine, before Damon. It's hard to remember a time we were happy. I'm not saying that we weren't happy, but it's been a long time.

I miss us, the old us, and I hope Stefan does too, I just want another chance, with no more drama, just us, Stefan and Elena.

Goodbye's. Saying goodbye to your lover is a heartbreaking moment. You feel as if a part of you is being separated and going on to do something else. You are used to relying on each other for everything. Every decision from the smallest to the largest is made with the consultation of your life partner. When you are separated, you must accustom yourself to living single. You don't have the constant reassurance of having someone to lean on. This feeling takes getting used to.

Lost love. The loss of a lover, whether because they have passed on or for any other reason is a heartbreaking experience. Some never fully recover. There might always be a small place in your heart that holds the pain of this experience. Even when you find another person to love, it is OK to hold a place for the lover that has passed. You shared something profound together. The previous relationship that you had is not like your new relationship. Every relationship is unique and should be allowed a place in your heart.

Love. Everyone says that love hurts, but that's not true. Loneliness hurts, rejection hurts. Everyone confuses these things with love, but in reality love is the only thing in the world that covers up all the pain and makes us feel wonderful again. And that's how I fell about Stefan.

Forgiveness. Forgiveness in a relationship of love is essential. We all make mistakes and we must make amends and fix the relationship. There is a certain sadness in breaking the illusion of the perfect relationship. However, for those that pass the hurdle of forgiveness, they will find that their relationship is stronger and more meaningful than ever before. Before the first fight, the relationship is a fragile egg. Once that illusion is broken the relationship becomes much stronger. You become aware that your relationship can survive a disagreement.

Maybe I am too young to understand love, and maybe I'm rushing into things, I haven't lived my life yet. But these past years have changed me; I don't know who I am anymore. Every day we ignore how completely broken this world is, and we tell ourselves it's all going to be okay, your going to be okay, but it's not okay. What has this world come to? What have I come to? I feel all alone. I have no one. Maybe Stefan has truly moved on. But I can't. He has and I can't, I can't stop myself from loving him. Something in the back of my mind keeps telling me that he doesn't love me anymore and that I should move on.

Days past and I have been up in my room most of the time, letting my thoughts take over. No longer am I that positive girl with a loving family and everything to live for. I am sad Elena Gilbert, who has been through hell and back, who has everyone looking out for her, because vampires are always after her. And she will always have vampires in her life no matter how hard she tries she will always have a new drama to the next. I will never be a normal girl again.

Caroline has kept me updated with what Damon and Klaus did. They have Emma locked up somewhere and are torturing her like she did to Stefan and I. but I would just rather her dead. She said Stefan and Lexi are staying a while longer due to money problems.

"Elena" Alaric shouts from down stairs, I place my book down beside me. I am reading beautiful creatures. Why? Because one, books take me to another world other than my reality and two, because I was in the mood to pour my heart out over some sappy book and maybe a bit of a laugh "Elena" Alaric shouts louder than before, I take the sheets of my body and head towards the head of the stairs. "Yeah" I shout back, "Come down, I made you lunch" he shouts back. Was it lunch? I did really lose track of my time lately didn't I. I sigh because I would rather not, but he would just end up dragging me down himself, I begin to walk down the stairs and make my way to the kitchen.

Jeremy is sitting on one of the stools and eating a slice of pizza, of course this was lunch, and we have been having pizza for lunch for like a week now. I sit on my stool and begin picking at the pizza in front of me. Alaric stands up and eats, leaning his elbows on the bench. "So how are you Elena?" Alaric asks, I know what he is getting at, small talk, I haven't spoken to him or Jeremy or anyone for days apart from the occasional couple of words. "Fine" I answer with a mouth full of pizza.

"Seriously? I'm getting sick of this" Jeremy spits out. Here we go. "You barely speak to us, and we have both been dead, you'd think you would spend as much time with us as possible." He says, truth is I am waiting for next horrible thing to happen. I moan in annoyance to show that I don't want to speak, but still they keep speaking "This is your life Elena, you should be living it to the best you can. Why are you being like this Elena?" Alaric asks concerned but annoyed. I can feel rage running through my veins. They have no idea what it's been like for me, living alone and having to grow up so fast. I swallow my small piece of pizza and speak"Do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how frustrating it is, how dangerous?" I stand up and push my plate away from me and take a step away from them "I would have loved to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or- or God even studying when I was in school! But I had to keep an eye out for vampires, making sure no one I love gets killed." I practically yell and rage, it's been days since I let out how I feel, but it's the truth. They both stare at me shocked. "And now what I am I meant to do? I have no future. I may as well give up." Alaric takes a step towards me but I take another step back "Elena…" Alaric says softly, I lower my voice too "But really… I already have." I look down at my feet. And stop talking, I want to run and hide, run from my life from this madness from the past three years, I would love to go back and start over. But I know it's impossible, I can't. I just have to live with everything that has happened.

I secretly hope for them to just understand me and give me a hug. And tell me it wasn't true. That it will be okay. "Every day we ignore how completely broken this world is," I can feel my eyes swelling up with tears "and we tell ourselves it's all going to be okay," I try to sniffle away the tears but they keep going down my cheeks almost choking out the next few words I continue "you're going to be okay… but it's not okay." I sob the last few words, I try to wipe the tears descending down my cheeks, from my eyes with my long sleeve, but it did no good they just kept coming.

Neither of them moved, well from what I could see, my vision was blurry because of my tears. I guess neither of them was sure what to do. After what seems like years of keeping it locked up inside me it was finally time to vent, and let it all out. I squeeze my eyes shut, and exhale a sharp breath. I cuddle my arms around my body shaking.

I feel Jeremy's arm around my shoulders my neck and he is stocking my hair. "Elena…" Alaric tries again, not sure what else to say. I can feel more tears streaming out, I finally let myself go. I just needed someone to listen to me, a shoulder to cry on. I let out a rasping breath and continue "The hardest thing in this world is to live in it."

They both eventually hold me as I shake, and they whisper its okay and try to calm me down. Jeremy places his head in the crook of my neck and wraps his arms around my body, he hasn't done that in a long time, hug me. "What would you like us to do… to help you?" Alaric asks calmly, stroking the back of my head. I think for a moment. I'm not really sure; I would love for my friends to comfort me, and for Stefan to love me again. Just for everything to be back the way things were. But neither Alaric nor Jeremy could help me, it was one of those moments when I just needed my mum. "I want mum" I whisper, I know I can't get her back, but I just needed her here, she helped me with things like this. I missed her touch and how she would hold me and tell me everything is okay. She would love me no matter what. And right now I don't know if anyone really loves me, or at least like they used to. Once I mention mum Jeremy holds me tighter.

"We could read mum's journals, look through old photo albums, and watch home videos…" Jeremy offered but we both knew that wasn't better than the real thing. "Jer sit Elena down, I'll be back in a minute" Alaric left the room and Jeremy placed me down on the couch. As soon as I landed on the couch I tucked my knees up to cover my face and wrapped my arms around my legs. I knew it was silly to want my mum, and you would think I would get used to her being gone, and I'm sure Jeremy did, but I just really wanted her to be here right now.

She was the one that wanted me to write and peruse a career out of it. But with her gone and school being over I had no clue what to do with my future. She would help me with that.

Alaric came into the room and bent down to be face to face with me. "Bonnie is coming over, I thought maybe she could comfort you." I looked up to meet his gaze. He smiled warmly at me and brushed the strand of hair out of my face.

Bonnie had arrived, Alaric I assumed told her about my meltdown. She told Jeremy and Alaric to leave the room just so Bonnie and I could talk. In the meantime I had I glass of water to calm myself down a bit. "Elena you know I love you right?" she smiled as warmly as Alaric did. She was sitting down beside me. "You're my best friend and I love you, so this is what I am going to do." She looked deeper into my eyes and took the cup out of my hand and placed it on the floor beside us. She took her hands in mine and rubbed her thumb over my knuckles. "I can get you to see your mum again. But only in your sleep, I will do this spell for as long as I can, so you can have time to talk to her in your dream. It's going to be tricky but I can do it. What do you say?" she smiled again. I stared at her in disbelieve. There was a spell to visit dead people in your sleep. She shouldn't have to do this, Alaric shouldn't have called her. "Bonnie you can't, not after everything I have done-" she interrupts "No, Elena you need this, you need closure. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You're my best friend so I forgive you for everything. Every mistake. Cause I know you would do the same for me"

I sigh, she was right, about everything. I do need this and I would love to see my mum again even if it was just in a dream, but at least I would know her spirit is there with me. She is the woman who raised me, she may not be my biological mother, she still loved me and I loved her, but then again she is in a way my aunt. "I'm going to do this whether you want to or not" she smiled teasingly at me, interrupted my thoughts. I smile slightly then remember "what about Jeremy…" he would be missing out on seeing his mum, our mum. "Its fine you can say hi for me" Jeremy said from behind me, I spin around to meet him. He has a smile on his face. "Jeremy I remember when mum and dad died, you were a total wreck" no way was I going to do this now. "Yeah I was, but really I'm fine, I miss them I will always miss them, but you need mum now. And I have found closure, I really have." I smile a reassuring smile "I don't know…"I sigh  
"No, Elena you are doing this, I'm fine." He smiles encouragingly  
"You sure?" I ask  
"I'm sure".

I spin around to face Bonnie she is smiling with a hint of excitement in her eyes. I huff and smile a wide smile back at her, this is it. I get to see my mum. We both giggle "now get some sleep will you" she laughs softly; I look back at Jeremy and smile a bright smile and then lean back on the couch, making myself comfy. I close my eyes and wait to drift off into sleep land. I can hear Bonnie in the back ground mumbling some Latin I don't understand. "Jeremy get me something of your mums" she speaks up, "here" Jeremy says. It is as though he had planned ahead. And then Bonnie continues mumbling and let's go of my hands. "Sweet dreams Elena" Jeremy says and kisses my forehead. I can feel myself falling deeper and deeper into sleep. All the sound becomes quieter and I can feel myself getting lighter.

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**Whaaa? okay thx for reading!PLEASE! pleaseeee. pppllleeeaaassseee. pretty please. P.L.E.A.S.E. please! please! Review, it really means a lot to me :) :) :) :) :) :) :) mmmkkaayy **

**-brittnilovestelena**

**please.**


	13. Chapter 13

**This is a long chapter :) Sorry if this chapter is confusing, but basically its flashbacks on Elena's life. **  
**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES! If I did ****stelena**** would be together and happy, and ****Damon**** would be in the lake dying :) **

**P.S thx for the review!**

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Chapter 13

_I'm inside a house, the room has herringbone wallpaper with little pink flowers, there is a cream leather couch against the south wall, along with a burgundy recliner and a very loud TV sits in the corner of the room, constantly screaming "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" There is a desk with one of those dinosaur computers on it located at a corner, a lamp next to it, and a bunch of papers and books covering most of the space on top of the desk. There are blinds with cream and tan shears. Right in front of the couch is a light brown teak coffee table. On every horizontal surface, are framed photographs of people of what looks like a family. There are two paintings on the walls- both painted of outside landscapes. _

_There is a little boy crawled up on the couch, dazed by the TV. He has light brown hair and fairly white skin, his eyes are big and a deep dark brown, he has a bit of a perky nose and full lips, he is wearing a striped orange and red t-shirt and green board shorts. He looks about the age of 5 or 6. His lips are slightly parted open as he watches the show, and his eyebrows twitch at one stage, as though he is trying to figure something out. A man walks in from a wooden door on the corner and sits in his chair by the desk, and sorts through his papers and stares intently at his notes. He looks like the little boy but older, he has slightly darker hair then the boy and slightly ruffled, and his eyes are the same shape and colour as the boys but his nose is slightly different from the boys, more crocked. He is wearing a white- long sleeved button up shirt, and long black work pants, he looks like he has just arrived home from work. He fixes his reading glasses on his nose and sighs intently he seems flustered._

_"Grayson!" a woman yells from the other side of the house "Grayson" she yells again and then the woman approaches the man and sighs "Grayson, do you know where Elena is?" she asks concerned and worried. The woman has long straight brown hair. She is slightly more tanned than the others and is skinny. She has dark brown eyes more rounder than both boys, her lips are full like the boy and has a fairly similar nose to him, her nose is perky just like his, she is wearing a pale purple top and blue jeans that are slightly crinkled. Her eyes are filled with worry and concern but she doesn't look as tired as the man she calls Grayson. She has her hands on her hips slightly swaying her body and tapping her foot like she is nervous. Grayson looks up to the woman still flustered but now worried with what the woman has said "No. Isn't she home yet?" he asks the woman sighs and frowns "No, not yet" she looks down at her feet "Miranda I told you that this was a bad idea, we should have never let her walk home" he sighs he runs his hands through his hair and sighs louder before taking of his glasses. _

_"Well… have you tried to pick her up and see if she is still at school?" he stands up now and leans against the chair. Miranda nods a yes "They said she left a while ago, and Matt said she was walking… maybe she got lost." This time she runs her hands through her hair and sighs flustered "Well this is just great" Grayson says sarcastically he begins pacing while running his hands through his hair. Miranda bits her lower lip and her brows furrow she looks upset. She looks over to the little boy still watching his show, "Jeremy, have you seen your sister?" she asks Jeremy thinking maybe when she left Jeremy alone Elena would have come in without her noticing. _

_Jeremy spins around to look at Miranda "No mummy" he says looking Miranda, his mum, directly in her eyes. Miranda spins around and moves to Grayson who has now stopped pacing and is by the home phone. "What do we do Grayson?" she asks placing her hand on his shoulder, Grayson turns around to face her and says sighing "If she isn't here in 5 minutes, I'll call the police, it has only been 30 minutes since school finished right, maybe she is being slow, if that's the case she should be here soon." He says trying to comfort Miranda "She should have been here at least 15 minutes ago. She shouldn't be taking this long. I'm really worried Grayson" she says starting to panic "It's okay hunny, I'm sure she is okay" trying to reassure her. He wraps her in his arms and kisses the top of her head, and rubs her back. _

_Just then the front door swings open and there is a little girl standing there, she looks like she is about 8 years of age. She has tears and dirt smeared down her face, her chest is rising and falling slightly more than it should be. Her long brown hair is put up in a ponytail and some bits of her ponytail are hanging loosely around her face, her eyes and nose are puffy. Her eyes are big and dark brown and her nose is perky just like Miranda's but she has Grayson's lips. Her lips are shaking and her eyes are threatening to spill tears. She has dark blue jeans on and a pink frilly top, which is slightly smeared with dirt. She has a purple backpack on her back. _

_"M-mummy…Daddyy" she cries and at that Miranda and Grayson turn around to look at their miserable daughter, Miranda is the first to greet her daughter she runs over to her and bends down and holds her, and moves Elena's head to the crook of her neck. Grayson sighs in relief and moves towards the two girls "Elena sweetie, what happened, where were you baby?" Miranda asks as she rubs Elena's back. Elena sobs violently and wraps her small arms around mum. "I-I-I was wwalking home a-and then I-I fell over on the mud and hurt myself and some boys laughed at m-meee!" she cried out loud the last word "I was limping t-that's why I am late" she mumbled into her mums shoulder. _

_Grayson bent down to his daughter's level, and kissed her head, that was still buried in her mum's neck. Miranda moves her daughter in front of her so she can see Elena's face "Were does it hurt sweetheart?" she cups Elena's face and rubs her thumb on her puffy cheeks. Elena sniffled some and pointed to her knee "Here" she cried silently. Grayson looked to where she was pointing and quickly got up "I'll get you a bandage peanut," he always called her peanut that was her nickname._

_ Once he left Miranda whispered "Now sweetie I've seen you get punched and kicked in the face by your brother and you didn't cry this much, so what's really the matter?" Miranda asked Elena now, that she wouldn't be embarrassed to say it in front of her father. Elena sniffed some more and wiped her eyes and sighed a heavy sigh. "Boys hate me" she whispered "they laugh at me because I'm ugly, and I will never have a husband." Some more tears stream down her face some more. _

_"Naww Elena sweetie, that's not true, those boys are meanies and there are better boys out there. You are definitely not ugly; you are the most beautiful girl in the world! And when the time is right, you will have a husband and he will love you soooo much, maybe just as much as I love you" she smiled and made emphasis on the right words. Elena sniffed some more and thought about what her mother had said, Elena was so keen on thinking boys hated her, and her friend Caroline always said that when you grow up you need a husband. Elena thought if boys laughed at you, you wouldn't get a husband. She smiled slightly "really?" she said still a bit upset but better than before. Miranda smiled and did a big nod "Yes!" she give her a big kiss on her cheek "you are beautiful and you are loved" Miranda always told Elena that, ever since she was a baby, whenever Elena was upset that somehow cheered Elena up. Elena gave the biggest smile and wrapped her arms around her mother's neck "I love you mummy" she kissed her cheek. _

_Just then Grayson walked in and smiled at the little smiling Elena, he bent down and kissed Elena "here you go my peanut" he smiled and placed the bandage on Elena's scratch and wiped some of the mud from her clothes, she smiled and hugged her dad. He hugged her right back and lifted her up. All three of them moved to the living room to clean Elena up and soon after they had a laugh and make the kids giggle. Soon they were out of sight. _

* * *

That was her when she was eight. And it was her first time walking home, and this was the day she vowed never to walk again, well for another couple of years. "Hey Elena" someone said behind Elena. She just then realized that this was a replay of a memory in her dream that she was having. She was watching a memory this whole time.

I gulped, I recognize that voice, and it was my mum. I spin around and see her standing in front of me smiling that smile that would make you cry of happiness. She looked just like I remembered her, "Mum" I barely got out, she nodded and she raised her arms ready to hug me. But I was fast and moved to her before she could move to me. I ran to my mum and embraced her. Before I knew it I was crying, it was really her, I missed her touch and smell. I could smell her perfume and her shampoo. Lavender. It seems so real, like she is really there. I held on to her for dear life afraid that she would disappear.

"It's okay, Elena" she tried in a soothing voice to calm me down. I broke apart from her she had her hands on my shoulders looking at me smiling and her eyes were glistening. "You're just as beautiful as I remember" she laughed almost choking out, like she was going to cry. She rubbed her thumbs on my now puffy cheeks, and really looked at me, only like a mother would, I felt like my heart was full and warm. I smiled back at her, my hands were on her hands. Our hands now joined lowered down, I bit down on my lower lip, and I felt like I wanted to scream, shout or even just cry. This was all too much.

"Do you remember this?" she asks, meaning what I just witnessed, this past memory, I nod a yes. She smiles "This day, you thought no boys liked you, and that you needed a boy in your life." We both smiled this time, which was so foolish of me, I was only eight and I was already thinking about boys. "You always came to me for all your boy problems…" she sighed and looked down to our hands. Why was I thinking of this memory, and why did she insist on talking about boys, there are so many other things to talk about.

"Mum, I'm sorry, for the accident, I'm sorry I fell for a vampire, I'm sorry I have made all these bad decisions that you and dad would hate, I'm sorry that I was a vampire, and I'm sorry I'm not in collage and I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment." I listed off all the bad things but there were so much more, I felt like i needed to confess this to her. I have changed so much during the years since their death, she wouldn't recognise who I was now. I could feel my eyes swelling up. I looked down I didn't want to face her, and watch her face look at me with such disappointment. I sniff trying to hold back the tears but it's too late "I'm sorry mummy, I didn't mean to disappoint you" I cry out. I start shaking and I try to pull away from her hands but she grips me tighter.

"Elena sweetie do not say that, I am not disappointed in you, I love you no matter what decisions you make, even if those decisions are bad ones, I know you learn from them. I love you Elena" she speaks softly she moves her hands to cup my face. I still don't look up though "Elena I have been there with you every step of the way, and I love you so much more. I could never be disappointed in you." I shake my head a no and let more tears fall. She lets go off my face and wraps me in her embrace, she holds me tight, and rubs the back of my head with one hand and the other rubbing my back. I let out a silent sob "You're not dis-disappointed in m-me" I let out in shaky breaths. She kisses the side of my head "never" she whispers in my ear before kissing my head again.

"I miss you so much" I whisper back, I believe her, she didn't hate me she loved me for the good and the bad. I just needed to hear her say that. "I miss you too baby." We stood there hugging for another ten minutes or so, which isn't long enough. "Now tell me what's bothering you and why bonnie did that spell for you to see me?" she asked, she did know what was happening, she must have been keeping a close eye on everything. "How are Jenna and dad?" I ask avoiding her question; just for a little while, I didn't want to think about my problems just yet, I wanted to know if Jenna and dad are okay. She sighed knowing what I was doing, after all she knew me the best, even after all of my change over the past couple of years. "They are fine sweetheart, and they miss you too and are very proud of you, although Jenna said she was a bit upset that she couldn't come along with Alaric and hit Jeremy over the head for not doing his homework, she is happy." We both giggled, of course Jenna wanted to come back, but no one had chosen her. And of course she was mad at Jeremy for not doing his homework. I missed her.

We both moved out of the hug to actually speak to each other's faces. "Will you tell them that-"  
"They know, they have been watching you too" she cut me off. We both smiled, she nudged me and smirked at me wanting to finally get some of the information out of me. Ah god she still wanted the gossip on my thoughts didn't she, one thing I really missed about her, although when she was alive I found it annoying, but with her gone I missed it. I sighed and thought about what was bothering me "As you know, I have been a little bit moody lately" she nods and rolls her eyes; she hated it when I was moody, even now. "Well there is a reason. Its-its …it's Stefan." I take a big inhale and exhale "we haven't really spoken lately and we have been rushing into things lately, and well we haven't really talked, and I miss him and" I stop there I look down, "I'm not really sure what else to say" I sigh I sound like an idiot I think to myself "I understand, I get it, just tell me, you can tell me anything" of course she understands she is an understanding woman and always has been.

I exhale one shaky breathe. "He doesn't love me anymore." I cry, I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but I can't control myself, that warmth in my heart is slowly melting away, about the more I think about it. I know it's crazy to think, I mean that whole hostage situation proved that he still had feelings for me but, so much has changed over the years, maybe his feelings are slowly going away, and he has given up on us. That maybe he isn't in love with me anymore. I let a sob escape my lips and fall in my mums arms all over again.

She wraps her arms around me. I bury my head in her shoulder.

* * *

We stand like that for a couple more minutes. _"Mum, how do you know when you're in love?"_ a voice from the not so far distance asks. We both let go of each other to look at where the voice is coming from. I look ahead of me and I see… I see myself. Not too long ago, she looks like she is about 16 and she is wearing a cheer leading costume. The other Elena's hair is tied up in a high, slick pony tail. She is wearing a heart necklace and her nails are slightly chipped with purple nail polish. This is a couple of weeks before my parent's accident; this is another past event we are looking upon. Both mum and I from 3 years ago are sitting on my old bed in my old room. I stare back to my mum standing next to me who is smiling watching the past right in front of us. I look back at the scene replaying.

_Miranda giggles, and Elena isn't amused and she frowns "Mum I'm serious" Elena whines. Miranda stops and smiles at her daughter "Why do you ask?" she asks. Elena looks down to her hands and takes a deep breathe "Matt said he loves me…" Elena says still looking down, Miranda looks at her trying to figure her out. "And that's a problem?" she asks, Elena sighs and nods a yes "Yes, because I don't know if I'm in love with him, and he wants me to say it back but-but I can't". Miranda shuffles slightly and hums in agreement "well you don't have to say it back if you don't love him, just tell him how you feel and-" Elena interrupts "it's not that… it's just that, I don't know what love is, like, I've never been in love before and I don't know what it feels like. Or maybe I do, and I just mistaken it for another feeling. The point is I don't know what to say to him. How do you know when you're in love with someone? I know I love you, dad, Jenna Jeremy, Bonnie and Caroline, but that's not the same. Or is it? I don't know. I've just never been through this before. And if I did love Matt wouldn't I know by now? I mean he knows how he feels, why don't I?" Elena rambles of to her mum. Elena sighs in defeat and stares past her mum, to her bedroom door. Miranda smiles and holds Elena's hand. _

_"Elena, I'm going to tell you something that has been passed through my family for generations, my own mother told me this, and I'm going to share it with you and hopefully you will share it with your children" Miranda starts and Elena looks into her eyes ready. _

_"You know you are in love when every time you start to think about the one you love, butterflies start flying in your stomach.  
You know you are in love when you find yourself with that person and you feel like everything is right in the world.  
You know you're in love when you feel miserable when you are away from that person.  
You know you're in love when you can't stop touching that person.  
You know you're in love when you start planning a future in your head.  
You know you're in love when you can't stop smiling every time you see that person.  
You know you're in love when you find yourself ignoring your own feelings and focusing on how someone else is feeling your love.  
Being in love is wonderful and yet painful. Love is worth any pain and wait. They are your best friend and they are the only person you feel most comfortable around and the person you trust with everything._

_But remember being in love is one thing but truly loving someone is another." _

_She finishes, the whole time Elena stares contently, she understands, she really listened and now has a concept on what love should be and feel like. Elena lets her words rest in her mind. She thinks and thinks until finally she smiles back at her mother._

* * *

**Sorry for the late update, more motherly moments coming up in the next chapter :) thx for reading and review :D Ewww I'm going back to school tomorrow :(**

**- brittnilovesstelena**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

_Miranda lets Elena think for a while longer before smiling back. Before they both are smiling ear to ear, Elena frowns looking down slightly and bites her lower lip. "What is it Elena?" Miranda asks, Elena sighs and takes a deep breath "I'm not in love with Matt" she furrows her eyebrows "and I don't think I will ever feel that way about him" Elena finishes, Miranda nods in understanding. "What are you going to do?" Elena looks up to her mother and answers "I'm going to talk to him, and stop dragging him along. I'm going to break up with him" Elena sighs "He is going to hate me" Elena says placing her face in her hands "He will deal with it" Miranda winks at Elena "all that matters is that you are happy" she smiles and pulls Elena's face to meet hers. Elena smiles back. They pull each other into a hug._

The scene fades away; I sniff up any remaining tears and look at my mum. "What is with all these memories about me and boys?" I ask smiling slightly. Mum shrugs her shoulders and says "I don't know what you are talking about" she turns slightly facing away from me "Mum!" I laugh, she nudges me and smiles "Just giving you a reminder sweetie" she winks, I huff and roll my eyes. I swear boys are taking over my life. But I did need those reminders from both the memories. "Mum I get it, I need to stop worrying and follow my heart, but I really need help with Stefan, I don't know what to do" I say trying to get to the situation at hand. She sighs and giggles "Now my dear I can't help you with that, only you can fix it, but I am here to give my advice" she smiles. I sigh. Sweet Jesus. "Well what's your advice then" I smile back, a bit more sarcastic then I intended it to be. "Well, you do have that boy's heart and he has yours…" she thinks to herself and starts pacing slowly. "I mean you did sleep with his brother, and you told him you didn't love him anymore and you-"

I interrupt "I know the things I did wrong! Just tell me how to get him back" I really don't want to think of all the bad things I have done. And I'm getting a bit inpatient. She smiles at me and continues "I suggest you try to win him back, and show him what he is missing. Don't force it on him, be friends with him first, get him talking about him, so it's not all about you. Make him smile and give him a good time. But really sweetheart just be his friend. That's what he needs." She smiles gently. I nod. I could do that. "And the rest is up to you" I let out a shaky breath that I didn't know I was holding. "I'll try" we smile and wrap each other in a warm hug.

"Baby, I have to go now" mum whispers, I am lying in her lap while she runs her fingers through my hair. We have been like this for a long time, but not long enough. I open up my eyes and sit up to face her. "No, please don't go" I hold her hand "I have to, you have to wake up." I frown "I don't want to wake up" I can feel my lip shaking slightly and my eyes are threatening to spill tears. _"Elena wake up" _Jeremy's voice speaks. I shake my head a no, then my mum holds my head in her hands, her eyes are glistening with tears. "I don't want to say goodbye" my voice cracks "Then don't" she smiles "This isn't goodbye, I will see you in the afterlife, when the time is right" she smiles and a single tears falls from her eye. I nod and sniff "anything you want me to pass on?" I ask "Just our love" she smiles and I nod again "I love you mum" I whisper and kiss her cheek "I love you more" she says and leans in to kiss my forehead I close my eyes as she does so. All my fears are put to rest as she kisses me and I can feel myself slipping away, into reality.

I open my eyes and see Jeremy and bonnie hovering over me. I smile, I finally feel at peace with everything. I take in my surrounding to make sure I'm awake, and everything is the way it was when I left. Alaric is standing behind bonnie. They smile back; I sit up and rub my tired eyes. "So?" Jeremy asks, both curious and worried. Oh how I wish he was there with me, but I'm glad that I got some time with my mum alone. "Jenna says to do your homework" I smile Jeremy grins, bonnie giggles, and Alaric laughs out loud, I look over to him and flash my teeth "But they love us no matter what" I say Alaric does a simple head nod and a wink to me and at this Jeremy sits next to me and smiles, both a sad and happy smile. "That's great. Did you talk to her about your problem?" bonnie asks, I nod "I did" I smile. God it felt good to talk to my mum, I am now at peace with their death. Finally. "Good" bonnie grins "So what are you going to do?" she asks this time Jeremy and Alaric look at me. I bite my lower lip "I'm going to talk to Stefan" I sigh.

It's now or never, it's time to talk to him. I have to resist the urge to cry, hug him and kiss him. I had to start from the beginning. I spoke to Caroline on the phone and told her about my mum and how I wanted to talk to Stefan. She understood but warned me to be careful. Today, Saturday, is the day that Stefan grabs a quick coffee and enjoys his time alone. Caroline told me this, I told her that it might be rude but she said just go for it. So that's what I am doing going for it.

I stand in front of the café and look for Stefan. The café is at the end of an ally way just outside of mystic falls. The café is small and has a homey feeling to it. Its exterior is all dark brown and red bricks. It has many windows with a couple of cracks and smudges on them. There is a fairly big sign along the top spelling 'Blue's Café' all the letters are lit up in blue apart from the letter 's' in the word blue's. Inside looks fairly similar to the exterior but looks better. They have black leather couches along the walls and they have stools along the benches. In the middle are sets of tables. Some for 6-7 people, some for 4 people and some for 2 people. They have posters along the walls of fabulous landscapes in the world.

Just then I spot him. He isn't that hard to find, I could find him anywhere. He is sitting by himself at the table for two, reading newspaper, while using one hand to scratch his scalp. That's what he did when he was deep in thought. He is wearing a dark blue V-neck shirt, and short sleeves that show his biceps. Nothing else has changed.

I take a deep breath and walk inside, he doesn't notice me, he is too deep in thought and plus he didn't have his vampire hearing anymore. Or maybe he did notice me and didn't want to talk to me. Okay I have to do this, I won't think too much about it just be his friend. I stand at the bar to order and a tall dark man, looks like he is in his 30's, wearing an apron approaches the desk and speaks "how may I help you today miss?" he asks. I nod and look at the menu above "I will get a...strawberry milkshake please" I smile "Large, medium, or small?" he asks ready to type in my order into his little computer thing. "Medium thanks"  
"Whip cream on top?"  
"Yes please"  
"okay and take away or stay in?" he asks, I stare at him for a moment and start to re think what I should do. But I won't let myself back out of this. "Stay in" I smile a polite smile and he smiles back "Ok miss here is your order number and you can choose your table, oh and anything else?" he asks "Thank you and no, that's all today"  
"That's $3.49"  
I nod and get my money out and give it to him. "Have a nice day miss" "you too" I grab my number and spin around to find Stefan again. I bite my lip and walk towards him.

What should I say?

Oh fancy meeting you here?

Oh hey can I sit with you?

Caroline told me you were here?

I want to talk?

Stefan? Is that you, I miss you!?

Good grief I have no idea and I have reached his table, I want to speak but no words escape my mouth. After a couple of seconds, he notices something is up and looks up to me, when he sees me, his mouth opens in shock but he doesn't say anything. He closes his mouth and puts the newspaper down. "...uh-um is this seat taken?" I ask nervously, why would I ask that? I'm such an idiot! "Uh-um no" I smile and sit across him and place my number on the table. I smile and he half smiles. It's not really a smile it's more like he just lifted his lip up slightly. God those lips, shit now I'm thinking about his lips.

Oh how I want those lips on mine.

Stop Elena, I look down and shuffle slightly in my seat. I can feel his stare on me, the more time that passes by, the more I think this is a bad idea. How could we be like this? I mean we have had sex and kissed and been through a lot but somehow it seems like we don't know each other. He clears his throat, a bit like a cough.

I breathe out and look up. "So um-uh how have you been?" I ask he stares deep into my eyes and then looks at my lips as I speak. "um good" he looks into my eyes again "how about you?" he asks, oh shit how do I answer, I can't say good because that's copying him and I can't say great because that makes me look like I have been great without him. "Decent" I say, what? Why would I say that? He smiles "that's good" I nod and look down again. What was taking the waiters so long? "So what brings you here?" he asks and closes his newspaper. I sigh, "Caroline?" he asks, shit how does he know? I look up and pull my best confused face "Pshhhtt no!" he smiles wider. Okay why would I say that? I'm actually awful at speaking today. Well at least he is smiling.

"Then why?" I open my mouth to speak but I can't think of anything "ummmm" is all I let out I bite my lip. I sigh in defeat "yeah Caroline told me" I lean back in my seat. He smiles and leans back in his seat as well "Yeah Caroline told me as well... Not about you coming here but uh about your mum and your dream" he says. That girl can't keep her mouth shut, oh well that's one less thing I have to explain. "She did?" "Yeah", silence.

This is so awkward "So how is Lexi?" I ask "Good" he answers. More silence.

"How are Jeremy and Alaric?" he asks "great" I answer, more silence

"Elena, I know what you are thinking about us, the rushing and all. I honestly don't think we should talk about it, we both know how we feel and what each other think, we have known each other that long and intimately, we just know these things" he speaks. He really knows too much about me, it's kind of scary but romantic at the same time. I nod in agreement. We sit there for a bit "Stefan, you look great by the way, as a human, you're doing well" I smile he smiles back "Thank you, Elena, you don't look too bad yourself" we both smile. His cheeks begin to turn red, which I have never seen before. It's an adorable look on him.

"Seriously why are they taking so long with my order?" I try to break the awkwardness. He laughs slightly "They don't have much staff and a lot of people come here on Saturdays, there busy but it should be here soon" weird but good I guess, maybe this gives Stefan more time to himself and that's why he likes it here. "Oh okay" he laughs a bit more and I laugh along with him.

Soon our orders arrive; he has a cappuccino, his favourite. I start sipping out of my straw. And then I hear a hiss, I look up to see Stefan frowning at his crouch "Shit" he hisses. I think he has spilt his drink on himself, I get my napkin and go to his side and kneel down beside him. It is on his left thigh. And he is trying to wipe it away with his hand which is only making it worse. I quickly grab some ice out of my milkshake that the café left floating probably to make it colder for longer. I wrap the ice up with the napkin and place it on the inside of his left thigh, not even thinking it would be inappropriate. "It's really hot" he hisses, I laugh "of course it is" "usually I wouldn't feel things like this" he says "Well humans are sensitive" I push harder. "Yeah, it's annoying, I mean after 160 years of getting used to not feeling pain, you would not think about this" I laugh and he laughs with me. "Get used to it buddy" I say and look up at him. He just pokes he tongue at me and I wink back. I really missed this playful side of him; in general I just missed him.

He places his hand over mine and immediately my heart skips a beat. I look up at him and he is already staring at me "I can take it from here" he says quietly I stare at him for a couple more seconds and I bite my lip, and as I do that he licks his lips. Oh god! What is he doing to me, my heart rate goes faster and I'm happy that he doesn't have his vampire hearing anymore. I watch his eyes as they move looking at my lips. I gulp, I feel like I'm under his control. His hand suddenly feels a bit tighter on mine.

I can't do this, we can't do this. We can't rush into things; we have to be friends first. I move my hand from his grasp and slowly get up and move back to my seat. He looks a bit shocked but that soon is covered by a smile. I feel so hot, my hands are sweating and I feel like I'm on fire, my whole body is on fire. I continue drinking my milkshake, to calm myself down, immediately I cool down.

Five minutes past and we have both just finished our drinks. "Stefan I-" "Elena I-" we say at the same time and then we both giggle. "You go first" I say "You sure?" I nod. What I wanted to say could wait; after all he is the most important thing to me. He clears his throat and clasp his hands together "Elena I'm seeing someone" he says. What? Did I just hear him correctly? He is seeing someone? Just then my heart drops, I feel like my body shut down, that warmth in my heart quickly turned into ice. What in the hell? What was all that intense staring about? Maybe it was just me? Just then I wanted to run, run far away from here away from him. Maybe I can find someone else, maybe I can start all over again, or better yet I can kill Caroline for not telling me. Good, I have to think of ways to kill Caroline. Maybe when she is least inspecting it, it should be easier now that she is human. And maybe kill his girlfriend too. Yes!

What? Stop Elena. You're not killing anybody; I have to think about think rationally. I mean at the moment I am just staring at Stefan like a freak. I have a lump in my throat "Elena?" he asked concerned I break out of my trance "yes" I say "are you alright?" of course I'm not alright, I want you and you are taken! "Yeah I'm fine" I say "uh-um what were you going to say?" he asks awkwardly. I was going to say I love you "Oh-uh just that we should be friends is all" I smile, he sighs and smiles back, good he believes me. "Yeah, I would love that." He smiles, I smile back. I'm glad he went first. He starts making eye contact with me again, so quickly I grab my clutch and begin to stand up "well I-" "Because I really missed you" he says. I stare at him; he is smiling at me, like he really did miss me. "I- uh yeah missed you too" I smile. "But yeah I should get going" I trail of my voice, he stands up "Oh so soon?" "Yeah sorry, I was just going to stop by and say hi, I have to be somewhere…" I say, grabbing my things, he nods. "Okay, well thank you for stopping by, when will I see you again?" he asks. Never "Ill text you" I say, I start walking towards the door and he follows me. Shit, I spin around to face him "bye" I try to say as happy as I can "bye" he smiles, I do an awkward nod and turn away and open the door handle, the door opens and I am just about to put my foot out the door then "Elena?" I huff and spin around smiling "are you sure okay?" right then and there I would have run to his arms and hugged him, but I couldn't he was no longer mine. "I'm fine Stefan, bye" I spin back around and walk off.

A heavy sigh escapes my mouth and I continue to walk away. I don't want to see his face, it hurts too much, I won't give him the pleasure of seeing me upset. He doesn't get to see me like that anymore. My eyes are threatening to spill tears, but I won't let them, not today. Only Stefan could make me feel this way. Hurt. Once he made me feel loved but that's different now. We are both different people now. Like my mum told me, love can be wonderful and yet painful. This was the painful part, which I have felt too often.

The only thing important to me is for him to be happy, and if that means he is with another girl… Then I have to deal with it. I just always thought if he was happy shouldn't I be happy too? But I'm not, maybe that makes me selfish but I don't care. I keep walking and walking for what seem like forever. Then suddenly I feel empty, maybe that's what it feels like to lose somebody you love, I remember this emptiness when I lost my parents. I replay my mum's words, 'to show him what he is missing out on' and that's exactly what I will do.


End file.
